contemplativeMonkey: Quit hiding under the table. It's dog-brushing day.
GRD: Are you sure we can't discuss this? I'm open to negotation.
Monkey: I'm not. Either you get brushed for an hour today, or for six to eight hours when I get home from VP. I know which I prefer.
GRD: What if I climb up on the sofa out of the way, where I go when you vacuum?
Monkey: No. Come over here and stand still.
GRD: What if I give you my paw?
Monkey: No. Come over here and stand still.
GRD: Bring you a stuffed unicorn and play bow?
Monkey: No. Come over here and stand still.
GRD: How about if you just brush my ruff, and leave the tail and feet alone?
Monkey: No. Come over here and stand still.
GRD: bigdogsigh
Monkey: Now we're getting somewhere.
GRD: You know, for this torment, the least you could do is give me a kitty.
Complaint Department: (from upstairs) I HEARD THAT!