I'm photoblogging it.
First, I show the victims the implements:
Sliced, browned Ball Park hot dogs with a light dressing of Grey Poupon (only the best for my friends!):
Then, we begin the process...
Hey, it doesn't seem to want to come out of the can:
"Pardon me, but would that happen to be dog food?"
Don't say I didn't warn you:
I know what this needs to complete it! Melted Tonka Truck!
Now to get the lingering Doritos even smaller...
My grandmother's casserole pan has seen many horrible things... but this san check, it fails. Did you know that Velveeta will not sprinkle?
You know what would absolutely be the piece de resistance? fresh Italian parsley from my own garden! (still somehow holding on out there...)
Yummo! Okay, here we go....
..now you know what to tell Poison Control.