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bear by san

March 2017



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writing palencar horrid glory

my friends are getting older so i guess i must be too

Thank God for men with daughters.

It's not only you, mind. But overall, more often than other men, you guys make me feel like you believe I'm a human being, and other women are too.

Thank you for that, guys. Because I suspect you don't actually hear it often.


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Seconded. Thirded. Possibly Fourth-ed, also.

And, good heavens, what brought this on? I hope it was a warm fuzzy story, and not an "Oh, dear" story
jimhines and others being fucking awesome this past week, mostly.

Reminding me in heartfelt terms that I *adore* honorable men.
No, thank *you*.

And, yeah, often we don't hear it.
The men I know are *awesome* fathers to their boys and girls both, so much so that I think these girls will grow up having much healthier relationships with men (on whatever level they choose to have them) as will their sons with women. It's not easy, but they do it with humor and grace, and it's amazing to see...
I can't imagine you'd have married one who wasn't.
My version of this experience has generally been "men with sisters" -- it's probably less true, but it's been more salient. As I grow older (up?) I suspect I'll be shifting to "men with daughters".

I keep wondering why "men with mothers" doesn't seem to work as a heuristic, though.
Because too many men (and women) do not consider their mothers to be human beings.

One of the pieces of advice given to me as a young woman studying physics was that if there was not a female professor in the department, one might statistically look for a sympathetic mentor to a male professor who had a young daughter. In our department that was happily unnecessary: my advisor is childless, and the profs who had only sons were just as welcoming to women students as the ones who had daughters. But still, I think it was pretty sound advice from what I've seen of other departments.
Yeah. And yeah.

And good on you.
Thanks right back. Some of us notice you trying.
Yeah. I'm married to one of those, and while I occasionally want to kick his ass, he is a decent human, a marvelous father, and utterly feminist in his outlook and his behavior. I wish I could clone him; at least his attitudes.
Three cheers for all those admirable guys.

Even for the ones who acquired their daughters in a second marriage, as my husband did. I think he is an awesome human being. So is his Dad. Include my Dad (whom I still miss very much every now and then, this being one of those "now"s).
I noticed this in my own father (who had two daughters). I'm not quite certain why he never raised me to feel pathetic for being female, but he didn't, bless him. He was a scientist who was also hugely respected by his female students for being such a good mentor to them.

This was a good thing, and yet... I have to admit that I was so spoiled by it that I've never been able to find a man as good to me as he was. *headdesk*

(I speak of him in the past tense, but he's still alive. However, Alzheimer's...)

On another subject -- I finished By the Mountain Bound tonight. Excellent book, thank you.
...How does one answer such a comment as this?

Thank you, and I am sorry about and for your father's illness.
You're welcome. Not sure what prompted this but I accept the academy's nomination. :)

Me personally I'm trying to raise a strong human in a world that is trying to tell her that at 10 she's somehow less than perfect for being exactly who she is. But I won't back down.

Thanks, Bear. You've got an extra back cracking coming for this! ;)
*g* Your tweets about your kid have been one of the things making me feel awesome about dads and little girls, lately. Go team you. *g*
Hey, you do good work, Caitlin's Papa. *g*
Thanks! There are a few of those days during the teenage years where you wonder "Why?", even though most of the time is fantastic.
Then the girls grow up. Now I have three wonderful sons-in-law along with my beautiful daughters, and a couple of grandkids.
Mazel tov. *g*
Those of us who have only sons, we're chopped liver?

(Had a sister once; she died when I was nine. Still miss her.)
Nope, not at all.

I'm just selfishly appreciating a different subcategory of awesome human at this precise moment in time.
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