it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken

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i shall sink with my nose to the sunrise.

Dear Diary,


Today we got in the car and went to a place I didn't like. It seemed okay at first, because there were monkeys and other dogs and meat stuffies there, but then everybody smelled scared, and we had to sit in a room and wait, and wait, and wait, and then a nice girl monkey came in and made me get on a black thing, and it looked scary but it was rubber so it was okay when I stood on it, and she said I weighed 88.2 pounds! That's pretty big, I think.

Especially since I am a lap dog.

And then we waited some more and I had to put my head under the monkey's chair because I was worried, but then a male monkey came in and startled me and I growled, and I thought he would be upset, but after my monkey said "No!" and I apologized he was just as friendly as if we'd gotten off on good terms.

Except it turned out to be a trick! Because then the girl monkey came back and they stuck me with sharp things in my leg and on both flanks and then a big big big sharp thing in my scruff, which my monkey said was a "microchip" and I don't know, maybe she works for the CIA? Does it mean I'm crazy if I think people are sticking RFID chips under my skin?

It does, doesn't it?

And then the boy monkey poked at my ears and put a metal thing on my ribs and said I was healthy, and that I didn't have Lyme disease or Leptospirosis, but I did have arthritis in my shoulder where the Mean Dog bit me that time. So now my monkey says I get "supplements," which I think is another word for "treats."

And then we went out to the hallway and there was a lady golden retriever who was very pretty but she might have wanted to kill me. And another little thing that might have been a dog, and I sniffed it and it didn't kill me. It could have tried, though!  

So that is okay. And then my monkey gave me a stuffie, which she says is a hedgehog. It makes a gronking noise when you bite it. I put it in my supper dish for later. So that is okay too.

Even if I do have a microchip in my neck now.

Shots make me tired.

And in conclusion, WORST CAR RIDE EVER.

Tags: giant ridiculous dog
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