it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken
matociquala

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i read the news today oh boy

Monkey: Why don't we go outside for an hour, and I can do some work on brushing you? For a coated dog is never all brushed, but always merely more brushed or less brushed. And you are sort of middlin' brushed right now.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if I bring you this softball and we go outside and play fetch instead?
Monkey: We can play fetch after the brushing.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if you brush my shoulders?
Monkey: I can brush your shoulders. And then I will brush your sides.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: That's not so bad.
Monkey: And then I will brush your ruff.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: That's not so bad.
Monkey: And then I will brush your head and put your hair elastics in.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: I can see!
Monkey: See? That's not so bad.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: Squirrels! Hey, there's a bird up there!
Monkey: Now I will brush your throat.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if you brush my butt?
Monkey: I have already brushed your butt. And your tail.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if you brush my butt?
Monkey: I will brush your throat. And now I will brush your front feet.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if you brush my butt?
Monkey: How about if I brush your feet?
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if I push on your hands with my feet?
Monkey: How about if I brush your feet? And your belly.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: Ow. That hurts.
Monkey: It hurts because you keep pushing my hands away.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if you brush my butt?
Monkey: I already brushed your butt. How about if I brush your belly?
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if you brush my feet?
Monkey: I have already brushed your feet.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if I cry?
Monkey: Poor dog. It would hurt less if you quit fighting me. How about if I brush your belly?
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about no?
Monkey: I will sit on you.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: How about if I stand up and sort of pretend I don't notice you brushing my belly?
Monkey: Okay, but if you pee on me, I'm giving your dinner to the cat.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: That's okay. I'm not food-motivated.
Monkey: Guess what? Now I have to shampoo your moustache. There's food in it.
Giant Ridiculous Dog: I hate you.
Tags: giant ridiculous dog
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