it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken

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it's an ancient Russian proverb but I doubt it's one that you've heard

One has the most curious insights while plugging away at short stories. Like, I just realized when House lost me as a viewer, after putting up with all the lawsuit-worthy medical antics of the worst! care team! evar! It was the episode two seasons ago where House gets off Vicodin and onto methadone, which works great for his pain and turns him into a tolerable human being. And the episode ends with him going off the methadone because he feels like being a sympathetic person is making him a lousy doctor.

Man, I tell you. As somebody with my share of post-traumatic and biochemical issues, I find this whole insanity/divaness/being a horrible person = genius trope so bloody offensive, it's not even funny. My crazy makes it harder to create, not possible. And yeah, there are times when I can use that crazy to provide an insight into the crazy of the zeitgeist, but is it what makes me an artist?

Fuck, no.

I'm an artist in spite of it.

Bite me, Hugh Laurie. (Yes, I know you're just an actor, and the sentiment should be "Bite me, romantic Hollywood bullshit fallacies." But I'm blaming the messenger.)

(This rant brought to you by methadone research, post traumatic stress disorder, and the fact that the Scrivener beta keeps killing my formatting, and just ate 500 words of my fucking story. That was kind of a relief, actually, because for several minutes I thought it was closer to 2000 words, and I have now rewritten the lost bit. And made another backup, yeah. Also, this has reached the Zeno's Story stage, and every time I write a scene I find I still have four scenes to write.)
Tags: adult survivor, face down in the cheerios again, facepalm

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