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bear by san

March 2017



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muppetology floyd pepper groovy

it's an ancient Russian proverb but I doubt it's one that you've heard

One has the most curious insights while plugging away at short stories. Like, I just realized when House lost me as a viewer, after putting up with all the lawsuit-worthy medical antics of the worst! care team! evar! It was the episode two seasons ago where House gets off Vicodin and onto methadone, which works great for his pain and turns him into a tolerable human being. And the episode ends with him going off the methadone because he feels like being a sympathetic person is making him a lousy doctor.

Man, I tell you. As somebody with my share of post-traumatic and biochemical issues, I find this whole insanity/divaness/being a horrible person = genius trope so bloody offensive, it's not even funny. My crazy makes it harder to create, not possible. And yeah, there are times when I can use that crazy to provide an insight into the crazy of the zeitgeist, but is it what makes me an artist?

Fuck, no.

I'm an artist in spite of it.

Bite me, Hugh Laurie. (Yes, I know you're just an actor, and the sentiment should be "Bite me, romantic Hollywood bullshit fallacies." But I'm blaming the messenger.)

(This rant brought to you by methadone research, post traumatic stress disorder, and the fact that the Scrivener beta keeps killing my formatting, and just ate 500 words of my fucking story. That was kind of a relief, actually, because for several minutes I thought it was closer to 2000 words, and I have now rewritten the lost bit. And made another backup, yeah. Also, this has reached the Zeno's Story stage, and every time I write a scene I find I still have four scenes to write.)


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They're exploring off-the-Vicodone, having a fuzzy relationship House now.

But I can see how other people would have other breakpoints with the show. I figured early on that I was going to have to forgive a huge amount of hipster bigotry if I was going to watch House without screaming. (Okay, and I hadn't been watching it from the start - I found it via rerun marathons.)
AAAGH. Vicod*in*.
I stopped watching House when Chase offed the dictator. It really bothered me.
I'm an artist in spite of it.

Yeeep. This. I'd happily trade my crazy to some idiot who romanticizes it. Stability is incredibly underrated.
Ooh, let's all donate our crazy to some Hollywood writers for a Very Special Episode!
That's when House utterly lost me too, although for a slightly different reason...they treated his pain so unrealistically. As someone who deals with chronic pain due to arthritis, I cannot STAND all the tv nonsense about people w/chronic issues just being addicted and not actually needing whatever painkiller they're on. Sometimes that shit really is all that works.
Yes! Pain is never real on TV. It's annoying, and in the instance you're talking about, more than a little insulting and, well, rude.

Tangentially, I'm reaching a point (and perhaps I've just consumed to many stories) that addiction, of any kind, almost always feels like Too Lazy For Actual Character Development. Like, Addiction, Divorce, Daddy Issues, and Dead Parents are some plot points that almost never engage me, because they are always brought up and dealt with in the same tired-ass ways.

I also hate the related-but-not-quite-the-same "Smart People Who are Good at What They Do Get a Pass to Be Abusive Wankers" thing with the "Protective Minions of the Wanker" rider, both of which I have seen in real life more than once. I didn't like it any better for real than I did on TV.

Amen. I admit, I do like the "we forgive the gentle and socially clueless, for they are gentle and socially clueless" trope.

That seems to me compassionate.

And I have no problem with "Some people are just assholes." (See icon.)

Some people are, in fact, just assholes.
Ooh, yet *another* reason not to watch any more House. Thank you.

While I will grant that severe depression meant I stayed indoors and wrote a lot, it did not produce quality content particularly, and did produce some cringeworthy teen-angst sonnets. I can find ways to make myself work that do not include depression, and the content I produce while sane is far better.

Man do I hate that trope. Keeps more people in crazyland every year than I want to think about.
I'm an artist in spite of it.

Yes, a thousand times yes.

I'm glad I stopped to watch House after the first five episodes or so - the medical stuff never felt plausible, maybe because there are hospital doctors in my family.
This is off-topic, but it can actually be really fun to watch House with a doctor. My father is a doctor, and he loves to play Guess the Disease. "Oh, she has X symptoms? If this were real life I'd test her for Y disease, but there's twenty minutes left in the episode, so it can't be that. I wonder if she has Z disease? If they did a Q test I'd know..."
I stopped watching during the second season--couldn't take the whole cop-nemesis arc.

I recently read Kristin Hersh's memoir, Rat Girl, and while I found it a well-written and gripping read, I had a lot of trouble with her mental illness and its relationship with her music. I actually posted an entry saying "maybe I don't believe in suffering for art...discuss" and got several interesting responses and perspectives.
I thought the cop-nemesis was season 3...
On the lost text bit - if you have that "I just hit delete, and where has my current snippet of file gone, argh!" moment - check the trash folder: it may be lurking. (Stuff doesn't get deleted from that unless you do it manually.)

That one got me when I started using it (Mac version) again regularly a few weeks ago, and then promptly deleted two rounds of stuff I was working on. There's a part of me that thinks that behavior is logical in a program, and another part that finds it vastly counter-intuitive for reasons I haven't figured out yet.

It was a failure to copy on a cut-and-paste. And it would not undo. Fortunately, I back up a lot.
So much adoration for you right now.
Aw, shucks. ;-)
The only episode I remember having that plot was the one where Wilson was dosing House's coffee with uppers. When House found out he considered staying on them but decided it effected his ability to problem solve too much. He also laced Wilson's double espresso with amphetamines as payback.
Btw, did you know Hugh Laurie is a novelist? His "The Gun Seller" is actually quite good.

I *hate* the show HOUSE, but I'd read another of Laurie's books anytime, if he ever writes one again.
Wait, wait, crazy = genius? Why the hell didn't someone tell me that being bipolar also meant I was automatically a brilliant writer/artist/sentient being?

Oh, that's right. Because it doesn't. Man, I would trade being crazy for being an artist any day of the week, and twice on Sundays.
I myself am torn between knowing that while I am stable and functional while medicated, I can't focus worth a damn which means that everything takes forever to complete (except cooking--the pie's schedule always trumps) and reading about everyone else's amazing accomplishments makes me feel useless and unproductive.

OTOH, I am not crazy.



Methadone v Vicodin

I stopped watching House at the end of last season. As a paramedic, and the way the show portrayed paramedics as a bunch of idiots, it pissed me off.

Regarding the episode of which you are writing: Methadone actually is the correct choice for House's chronic pain. It relieves the pain without the "high". All of that nonsense about not being able to drink and causing him to go into respiratory arrest - THAT was bullshit. 40mg of long-acting Methadone v. 80mg of Vicodin daily is actually a decreased (synthetic) opiate load for the system. I would be more concerned about a doctor's judgement on high-dose hydrocodone than one being maintained on Methadone.

The writers need to stop getting their medical info from Wikipedia (or fortune cookies!).

Re: Methadone v Vicodin


Accuracy takes a back seat to drama. Which is why it's best never to believe anything you read in fiction.
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