Well, they have managed to make the replacement blonde not JJ. So I don't need to knife anybody yet.
And the quote of the week is Madeleine L'Engle. Ten points.
Get Reid within ten feet of a pretty girl and he suffers a massive nerd relapse. And whatever you do, don't ask him about "Elementary, my dear Watson."
"Really," says Hotch, with his deadpan on. I love the tactic of having the COTW handle the exposition and identify himself as a suspect all at once.
"Vanilla does not make your job any easier."
"No it does not."
Aww. Reid is looking out for the new kid, and Garcia's looking out for the family. And heavyhanded foreshadowing is heavyhanded. At this point, it CAN'T be either the cop OR the turkey bacon, because the script is jumping up and down saying "be scared!"
"Is that wrong?"
"You didn't get much out of them, did you?"
Oh Hotch. I feel for you.
And I love Emily's Illya Kuryakin outfit.
Hotch is totally cock-blocking Seaver, and also using the local police's incompetence to do his work, and Emily's compartmentalization is failing.
Morgan and Prentiss crack the case.
Prentiss teaching Seaver is fabulous. She's not the apprentice anymore; she's the teacher. This is one of my favorite scenes in a long time.
I love Emily Prentiss.
Oh, honey. You have the best of intentions, but you don't make those kinds of promises.
"This is a really beautiful room." Earth to Ashley... she figured that out just a bit too late. And really, you'd think Reid would have noticed four missing files...
Always suspect the husband, Agent Seaver. Especially when he's got a good excuse why the doors weren't locked.
Rossi's drowning bucket is permanently retired. And I think that puts Hotch firmly back in the lead, with the single most blase officer-involved shooting in the history of CM. Aaron, honey, I think you need a psych eval. Remember that Nietzsche quote?
I'm not in love with Seaver yet, and I have no idea how they're going to work her into the show... but it can't be any more unlikely than Reid's backstory, I guess. And I mean, she's a bit Clarice Starling, but I do like her dignity and honesty and the unflinching way she deals with stuff. (She and Reid and Prentiss are going to have interesting don't-look-down conversations.)
Derek Morgan tied for first place in the roll of the damned at 5.25. (Charm & Harm (split with Elle), Lessons Learned, Open Season (split with Prentiss), Legacy (split with Hotch, Prentiss, and the CotW), and Minimal Loss (three in the center of mass). Also, "Outfoxed," more or less in extremis. And a full audience participation suicide by cop in "Our Longest Night".)
Aaron Hotchner, regaining ground with 5.25 (The Tribe, A Real Rain, Legacy (split with Morgan, Prentiss, and the CotW), and Catching Out--and then he beat George Foyet to death with his bare hands in 100. And now the knife-wielding UNSUB in "What Happens at Home..." in like the single most blase shooting in the history of Criminal Minds).
Emily Prentiss, third place with either 3.75 or 3.25, depending on whether one of those offscreen gunshots in Open Season was actually hers, or if all three were Morgan's. I award her the kill because of her reaction on the plane afterward. The .25 is the other quarter of Charles Holcomb in Legacy, who went down like Frankie. The first 1 is the suicide-by-cop in "Lo-Fi." The second 1 is Dale Schrader in "Retaliation." Which could have been Morgan's kill, but I'm giving it to Emily because the hostage seems madder at her later. And the moste recent death-by-pissed-off-girlnerd is James Thomas in "Compromising Positions."
Future vigilante killer Elle Greenaway: slips to fourth with 2.5 (Extreme Aggressor, Charm & Harm (split with Morgan), Aftermath)
The mild-mannered but deadly Dr. Spencer Reid, fifth place with at 2 (LDSK; Revelations)
JJ: 1, in Penelope. And RIGHT THROUGH THE FBI SEAL. Hello Symbolism Much? Also, three dogs and my eternal respect. She is 1:1 bullets:kills.
Rossi: in second-to-last place with 1, in his very first episode (About Face). Having established that he is a badass, he has never badassed since. ("Welcome to the Enterprise. Would you like to beat up my Klingon?")
Garcia still doesn't kill people.
Gideon has never discharged his weapon. However, he has beaten somebody all to hell with a clubbed shotgun.