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bear by san

March 2017



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when i am queen of the universe we won't have to put up with this shit

So I'm listening to a thing on depression on the radio, and the one guy is like, "Depression is a serious illness. Nobody would dream of turning to somebody who had just recieved a cancer diagnosis and saying, 'Just snap out of it.'"

And I realized, wow, you have not met the Internet.

Brain cancer is caused by negative mental energy, didn't you know? Whatever is wrong with you, it's all your own fault. And because it is all your fault, it cannot possibly happen to me.

I mean, other than that, he seems really sensible, and is talking about some of the lifestyle factors that can affect depression (diet, exercise, lack of natural light, etc.) in addition to being pretty reasonable about medication (i.e., not Tom Cruise Crazy). But man. No. People will tell you to just snap out of cancer.

And then they'll tell you how to raise your kids.

Because we are judgy, judgy monkeys. And we're terrified it will happen to us. So we try to control it.

Magical thinking is a poison, man.


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I find a block and tackle to be a very effective method for raising children. And many other things.
Yeast, baking powder?

Re: Amen

Sometimes, stupid is just that.
Whatever is wrong with you, it's all your own fault. And because it is all your fault, it cannot possibly happen to me.

That is a great observation! Never thought of it that way, but I think you're right.
The thing we hate most always seems to be the thing we are most afraid we are. See also, anti-gay figures caught doing things in airport bathrooms I'd generally personally avoid where there might be security cameras....
The idea that cancer comes from incorrect thinking is older than the Internet, but now we get much more access to it.
Oh, man, I know. Monkeys.
On the positive side, I like the slogany sound of:
Snap out out cancer!

I can imagine maybe a sponsorship by Slim Jims.
"Take a bite out of cancer!"

My sister, who is a Type I diabetic, was once told by a friend that if she just ate properly, it would clear itself up.

*insert scene of unimaginable violence*
Here. Have an armed guy who cannot BELIEVE you just said that. :-P
I read years ago that those who shout loudest about what they perceive to be wrong with others are really just afraid that they share the same condition.

Which would certainly explain why so many homophobic preachers and politicians turn out to be gay.
I have come to the conclusion that there are now three certainties in life -- death, taxes and that the internet is full of teh stoopid. (Mind you, there are some newspaper columnists over here who will tell you to snap out of cancer, depression, death etc.)
Yesterday I was over at the neighbors' for their open house for their dead son, and it transpired that some other neighbors did not know of the [major health problem] suffered by [person known to us both and close to me]. I had told the bereaved neighbor that Said Person could not physically make it over to offer his condolences but did so offer them. And non-bereaved neighbor, after my summary of the situation ended with, "So we do what we can, but he can't always do everything he'd like to do," said, "Well, isn't that true of all of us?"

And I did not kill him.

But seriously. Major health problem described pretty clearly. Level of effects and permanence described pretty clearly. But that's just the same as non-bereaved neighbor not being able to win the French Open, right? Isn't it? So he should just get on over it and adjust, because everybody has that stuff just the same, right? Not being able to eat or leave the house for a few days due to pain levels is exactly the same as not being able to climb Kanchenjunga. Just. Exactly. The same. So cope!

And you know what? I am so used to this sort of thing coming up in conversation that when I was IMing with alecaustin half an hour later, this did not stand out as a negative moment worth mention and ranting about. It was just...how things are.
Uff da.
Or the prosperity gospel.
My husband is running into that problem with his Chronic fatigue syndrome; people don't like to accept that's it's a real disease, and because they don't know what causes it, and insurance companies can still find doctors who believe that it's a psychological disorder when all research has pointed to a pathological cause, it's not given the legitimacy it needs, even though the effect it has on people is comparable with end stage cancer. I have one (ex) friend who is absolutely convinced that if he just tried harder and got out more, he'd be fine. He's certainly learning who his true friends are right now.
...even though the effect it has on people is comparable with end stage cancer.

*shocked wordless for a day or so* *comes back to this*

Oh. Y'know, that may be the thing that actually gets me to let up on myself a bit more? (I've had CFS for 12 1/2 years; fibro for about 8; chronic daily migraine, ditto the about 8 for the "daily" part. I still seem to think I should be able to do more than I do. *very wry*)

So true about the legitimacy. The name doesn't help, either; in the rest of the world it's ME, myalgic encephalomyelitis. When people ask, I usually just mention the fibro, that avoids getting the "oh, I get really tired too but I still [fill in the blank]" response. It took years, and two sets of "yes, this person is unable to work" diagnoses from their own contract medical people before I could get SSDI. I've been lucky with doctors, aside from one horror, but... gah.

Ayup. What you said there.
This begs the question of what sins I committed to get both brain cancer and depression. ;)

Ooo, ooo, wait, I know - I damaged my brain by refusing to just "snap out of it"! Clearly all that avoidable negative thinking grew me a tumor. *dramatic wrist to forehead* If only I'd known!
"You know, I used to think that it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness pf the universe." (Marcus Cole on Babylon 5)
Thankfully, I have not yet had anyone say such things to my face or directly to me through the internets. I only had one former friend attempt to come close to such drama during the cancer time, and my beloved husband gave them a very pointed message about it which (surprisingly) ended it. Obviously I am not yet internet-famous enough to collect the true dregs of the medium...
Perhaps you attract noncrazy friends. *g*
Yes, Trevor got that a lot when he had throat cancer.

Our horse died of cancer of the liver because of his negative thinking. So did the dog and several cats.
NEgative thinking, and uncontrolled cell replication...
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