it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken

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kind of a lush and a bit of a meanie.

Being a review of Criminal Minds 06x13, "The Thirteenth Step," written by Janine Sherman Barrois, directed by Douglas Aarniokoski

Garcia speaks for us all. "As if I needed another reason to find you amazing."

"I'll keep that in mind."

And in this episode, Criminal Minds takes on Natural Born Killers  and Bonnie and Clyde.
There goes the explosion budget for the season.

Rhonda Pearlman is the COTW!

"So this is just foreplay." Rossi and his way with words.

Reid appears to be dressed up at the 13th Doctor. And talking like him.
"Who comes to a gas station throwing rice?" Ooo, Morgan gets to be detail boy when Prentiss is dealing with the bodies.

"People typically drink to excess because they are unhappy with themselves or their past." And Reid gets to do the 12-step exposition.


Reid gets to pull an Illya Kuryakin-esque act 3 and 4 disappearing act. Maybe MGG was shooting a commercial. Maybe Reid's still on probation after his characteristic moment of dumbass last week. But really, what is with the "Reid doesn't go into the field" thing this season?

And where has Agent Bates gone? Maybe they're on a hot date while everybody else is chasing the bad guys.

Oh, we're really working on the "Revelations" parallels. This doesn't feel like a CM episode, in a lot of ways--the character of the UNSUBS is a little broadly drawn. I'm not getting the nuance I'm used to, somehow. And the unanswered questions--say, about Ray's dad--don't seem to be unanswered on purpose.

Morgan, Morgan. What's your background? There are civilians in that inconvenience store. His shot/kill ratio took a beating this episode. Those hours at the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy are starting to pay off.

Morgan does, actually, know all about it. But this is rather bad hostage negotiations tactics. Somebody should send Hotch back to training. Or maybe import the Flashpoint team for a few pointers. (Oh man. Flashpoint/Criminal Minds crossover fanfic. The world kind of needs this thing.)

Well, that was a hail of bullets. Definitely working the Bonnie and Clyde thing. I dunno, this one just never gelled for me. Too many unasked/unaswered questions, maybe? It felt a little paint-by-the-numbers, and like it was full of missed character opportunities: Reid and Morgan, especially.

Also, seriously. Guys, don't put other officers in your crossfire.

As much as the A plot fails to thrill me, I'm kind of excited by the Prentiss backstory. Although I'm really, really hoping Paget stays with the show. Augh! The tension! Hannibal Lector is coming for Emily and her cuddly Scottish pal!

Hmm. Everybody but Reid gets some credit for that one, I think.

Derek Morgan tied for first place in the roll of the damned at 5.5. (Charm & Harm (split with Elle), Lessons Learned, Open Season (split with Prentiss), Legacy (split with Hotch, Prentiss, and the CotW), and Minimal Loss (three in the center of mass). Also, "Outfoxed," more or less in extremis. A full audience participation suicide by cop in "Our Longest Night".  And "The Thirteenth Step.")

Aaron Hotchner, maintaining the tie with 5.5 (The Tribe, A Real Rain, Legacy (split with Morgan, Prentiss, and the CotW), and Catching Out--and then he beat George Foyet to death with his bare hands in 100. And now the knife-wielding UNSUB in "What Happens at Home..." in like the single most blase shooting in the history of Criminal Minds. And "The Thirteenth Step.").

Emily Prentiss, third place with either 4 or 3.5, depending on whether one of those offscreen gunshots in Open Season was actually hers, or if all three were Morgan's. I award her the kill because of her reaction on the plane afterward. The .25 is the other quarter of Charles Holcomb in Legacy, who went down like Frankie. The first 1 is the suicide-by-cop in "Lo-Fi." The second 1 is Dale Schrader in "Retaliation." Which could have been Morgan's kill, but I'm giving it to Emily because the hostage seems madder at her later. Death-by-pissed-off-girlnerd of James Thomas in "Compromising Positions." And now, the hail of gunfire in "The Thirteenth Step.")

Future vigilante killer Elle Greenaway: holding on to fourth with 2.5 (Extreme Aggressor, Charm & Harm (split with Morgan), Aftermath)

The mild-mannered but deadly Dr. Spencer Reid, fifth place with at 2 (LDSK; Revelations)

Rossi: climbs to 6th with 1.25, in his very first episode (About Face). Having established that he is a badass, did not then badass until "The Thirteenth Step." That's over three seasons. ("Welcome to the Enterprise. Would you like to beat up my Klingon?")

JJ: 1, in Penelope. And RIGHT THROUGH THE FBI SEAL. Hello Symbolism Much? Also, three dogs and my eternal respect. She is 1:1 bullets:kills.

Seaver: No bodies yet

Garciastill doesn't kill people.

Gideon has never discharged his weapon. However, he has beaten somebody all to hell with a clubbed shotgun.

Tags: geeks with guns

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