October 2nd, 2004

bear by san

Field guide to television spies. *g*

I have successfully wasted an entire morning making a Sandbaggers icon. So GIP. Neener. *g*

Also, still failing to get the joint I Spy/MfU icon quality where I want it and still under 40K. This is better, although that last shot of the MfU boys really doesn't have enough contrast to work in 24 shades of gray. Damned text is still too long, but since the text is the point...

ETA: this is what I'm squishing down to get that previous. Harrumph

Yeah, I know. Annoying animated icons. Very childish. If this were a WWIV BBS, I'd probably be signing posts in blinking red. It keeps me entertained.

And the Sandbaggers icon really does crack me up. I probably shouldn't make one that says "Bloody Norwegians," should I? Because nobody but me, katallen and three other people on the planet would get it.

Although I have been working on a Pocket Guide to Cold War Spy Shows, for when you stumble across them at two in the morning on an alien cable system. It's not complete yet, but I have a few handy rules of thumb in if/then statements....

If it's in black and white, it's The Avengers, Secret Agent, or first season Man from UNCLE

If Hungary looks suspiciously like southern California, it's The Man from UNCLE or Mission:Impossible

If Hungary looks suspiciously like the UCSD library, it's Mission:Impossible

If Hungary looks suspiciously like Yorkshire, it's The Sandbaggers or Secret Agent.

If all the 'Hungarian' signs are in English, spelled as if it was German, it's Mission:Impossible

If it's actually called Hungary, it's The Sandbaggers. If it's called Outer Bratislavia, it's The Man from UNCLE or Mission:Impossible. If it's called Hungary *and* the Hungarians speak Hungarian, it's first-season MfU or early black-and-white Avengers.

If it actually looks like it was shot in Hungary, it's I Spy

If there's a black guy and he's not either useless or a villain, it's I Spy or Mission:Impossible. If there's a chick and she's not either useless or a villain, it's The Avengers, The Sandbaggers, or first-season MfU. If there's a character who's not American or British who isn't useless or a villain, it's The Man from UNCLE.

If the bad guys have hovercraft, it's The Man from UNCLE. If the good guys have hovercraft, it's Mission:Impossible. If there are people wrestling with wild animals that are suspiciously stuffed looking, it's The Man from UNCLE or The Avengers. If the torture scenes mostly make you giggle, it's The Man from UNCLE or I Spy.

If the guy running the show is bitching about his agents' expense reports, it's MfU or I Spy. If he appears to be a jerk, but actually turns out to be brusquely hiding a squishy-soft interior, it's MfU. If he's actually a jerk, but you've never seen him before, it's I Spy. If he seems to be a decent guy and is, in fact, a decent guy, it's The Avengers or Mission:Impossible.

If he seems to be a big jerk, but is actually a complete fucking cocksucker, then it's The Sandbaggers.

If the characters have no chemistry, it's Mission:Impossible. If the banter is amusing enough that you keep watching even when the plot makes no sense, it's The Man from UNCLE, The Avengers, or I Spy.

If the plot makes sense, it's Mission:Impossible or The Sandbaggers.

If the bad guy body count tops five or six or so, it's probably The Man from UNCLE. If the good guy body count tops one, it's The Sandbaggers.
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bear by san

General call for fannish assistance

I Spy, The Man from U.N.C.L.E, and The Girl from U.N.C.L.E are about to start airing--top to bottom, reportedly, and *mostly* uncut--every Wednesday night as of October 6th on "Goodlife TV," which is available on selected cable and satellite providers.

And which Las Vegas's version of Cox Cable does not carry, dammit.

I'm prepared to negotiate pretty heavily for copies of the MfU and GfU episodes with anybody who can record them for me, preferably on DVD at best quality but I will take VHS--because there are no professional DVDs of either series available, and most of the copies of MfU I have are heavily edited, poor quality multigeneration tapes, and I do not have the entire run, or any of the GfU episodes.

I don't mind it if commercial breaks aren't cut, and I'll settle for VHS if that's what can be fielded. However, since there are three and a half old-style seasons of MfU (105 episodes, I believe) and about a season of GfU episodes, this would be a pretty long-term commitment. I would, however, defray costs, etc., and barter quite cheerfully in trade or services for the inconvenience.

And at least two professional writers and a semipro editor would be extremely grateful to anybody who could perform this service. *cough*

The I Spy eps aren't mission-critical, as those are available on DVD and I in fact *have* many of them.
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