March 30th, 2007

spies mfu goodliest outside napoleon

you're so dashing.

Since it came up again recently--

For those of you who didn't know, a good chunk of the first season of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is available for free on AOL video, along with a few of the later episodes.

Warning: It's cracktastic.

Although my personal favorite episodes, "The See Paris and Die Affair" and "The Odd Man Affair" are not available, some serious second-tier contenders are. "The Terbuf Affair (okay, I love it for the body cavity search joke)," "The Girls of Nazarone," "The Never-Never Affair," "The Quadripartite Affair," "The Deadly Games Affair," and "The Shark Affair" are all great places to start. "The Project STRIGAS Affair" offers Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner in their first appearance together (Two years before Star Trek) and that one and "The Fiddlesticks Affair" pretty obviously set the mold that Mission: Impossible later exploited so successfully.

Of later episodes, well, the color seasons exploited camp, and you have to go in knowing it, but "The Bat Cave Affair" has Martin Landau doing the world's worst intentionally awful Dracula, and "The Concrete Overcoat Affair" (a two parter) involves, among other things, Janet Leigh cast, shall we way, somewhat against type as an exceptionally creepy sadistic psychopath.

Yes, that Janet Leigh.

Yes, that was not-too-subtly-implied sexual abuse and/or rape.

But, you know. David McCallum on a leash. Also, the most unconvincing catfight in the history of television.
iggy pop chairman of the bored

all lies and jest still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.

So I just updated my CV for Penguicon.

I, um. Well. I guess I've kind of arrived. It's really kind of bizarre seeing all this stuff in one place.

And I guess I'll put it here too, so I can find it later. It is always SO WEIRD referring to yourself in third person....

Elizabeth Bear was born on the same day as Frodo and Bilbo Baggins, but in a different year. This, coupled with a childhood tendency to read the dictionary for fun, led her inevitably to penury, intransigence, the mispronunciation of common English words, and the writing of speculative fiction.

She grew up in New England and lived in Las Vegas for seven years. She now resides near Hartford in a tiny apartment with a presumptuous cat and has no plans to leave the Northeast ever again, except on brief exploratory excursions.

She has six novels and two short story collections in print, and eleven more books under contract. She was the recipient of the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer in 2005. She's a Locus Award winner, and has been nominated for several other major genre awards, including the BSFA, the Lambda Award, and the Phillip K. Dick Award, for which she received a special citation for Carnival.

Her available publications are as follows:

(And this list has yanno, more liner notes than the official version.)

The Jenny Casey trilogy: (Bantam Spectra) (Locus Award for Best First Novel, collectively, for all three books that are one book)
Hammered (2005) (Compton Crook Award Nominee)
Scardown (2005)
Worldwired (2005)

Stand-alone science fiction: (Bantam Spectra)
Carnival (2006) (Special citation from the Phillip K. Dick Award, nominated for the Lambda Award, nominated for the Romantic Times reviewer's choice award, Locus Award nominee, hello little book that could...)
+Undertow (2007)

The Jacob's Ladder trilogy: (Bantam Spectra)
+Dust (2008)
+*Chill (2009)
+*Grail (2010)

(Look, we have titles again. Assuming Marketing approves them.)

The Promethean Age: (Roc)
Blood & Iron (2006) (Green Man Review's Best Fantasy Novel, 2006)
Whiskey & Water (2007)
+*Ink & Pen (2008)
+*Hell & Earth (2009)

Iskryne world (with Sarah Monette) (Tor)
+A Companion to Wolves (2007)

The Edda of Burdens: (Tor)
+*All the Windwracked Stars (2008)
+*By the Mountain Bound (2009)
+*The Sea thy Mistress (2010)

Short Story collections: (Night Shade Books)
The Chains That You Refuse (2006)

Abigail Irene Garrett and Sebastien de Ulloa mysteries: (Subterranean Press)
New Amsterdam (mosaic novel) (2007)

Novellas: (Monkeybrain Books)
+Bone & Jewel Creatures (2008/9)

In addition, she's published several dozen short stories and poems in various venues.

(1995) "Transubstantiation" to Strange Wonderland (never actually published. my first magazine death!)

(1996) "Love-in-Idleness" to Midsummer Night's Dreams
(this story is pretty much disavowed. but I promise if you ever find a copy, it will make you feel so much better about anything you may be unproud of in your own work.)

(somewhere in here is that part where I quit writing for a good long time)

(2000) "The Company of Four" to Scheherazade
(2000) "The Devil You Don't" to Amberzine

(2003) "e. e. 'doc' cummings" to The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction
(2003) "Tiger! Tiger!" to Shadows Over Baker Street
(2003) "Ice" to Ideomancer (in a much, much, much different form, this is the first chapter of All the Windwracked Stars)
(2003) "The Dying of the Light" (with Amber van Dyk) to Fortean Bureau
(2003) Hammered novel excerpt to Harpur Palate
(2003) "Speak!" in the Winter 2003 issue of On Spec

(2004) "This Tragic Glass" to Scifiction (YBSF honorable mention, Tiptree award long list)
(2004) "The Chains That You Refuse" to ChiZine
(2004) "Old Leatherwings" in Lenox Avenue
(2004) "Ice" reprint in Nowa Fantastyka
(2004) "Seven Dragons Mountains" to All-Star Zeppelin Adventure Stories
(2004) "Sleeping Dogs Lie" to Flytrap
(2004) "When you Visit the Magoebaskloof Hotel, be Certain not to Miss the Samango Monkeys" to Interzone

(2005) "Two Dreams on Trains" to Strange Horizons (reprinted in Gardner Dozois' YBSF, BSFA short form award nominee, reprinted in Rewired: The Post-Cyberpunk Anthology, James Patrick Kelly/John Kessel, ed. Tachyon Press 2007)
(2005) "Follow Me Light" to SCIFICTION (reprinted in the Datlow/Link/Grant YBF&H 2005 and Best New Paranormal Romance)
(2005) "Botticelli" to The Agony Column (this is reprinted in The Chains That You Refuse with what I think is a vastly improved ending, as the first was apparently too obscure. But it is, you know, thinly disguised and very thinky Man from UNCLE meta-slash, so go team me.)
(2005) "One-Eyed Jack and the Suicide King" to Lenox Avenue (this is chapter one of One-Eyed Jack & The Suicide King, which will be Promethean Age #5 if enough of you buy #s 1-4. *g*)
(2005) "And the Deep Blue Sea" to SCIFICTION (this will be reprinted in an anthology of post-apocalyptic SFF eddited by John Joseph Adams)
(2005) "House of the Rising Sun" to The Third Alternative (This is chapter two of One-Eyed Jack & The Suicide King. Just to keep things interesting.)
(2005) "Long Cold Day" in SCIFICTION
(2005) "Wax" in Interzone (Locus recommended list, reprinted in Fantasy: The Best of the Year, free audio version at the Subterranean Press website.)

(2006) "Los Empujadores Furiosos" in On Spec
(2006) "Wane" to Interzone
(2006) "The Inevitable Heat Death of the Universe" in Subterranean #4 (Danger, Will Robinson! That link leads to a .pdf of the entire magazine, and it is BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD.)
(2006) "Lucifugous" in Subterranean 5
(2006) "Sounding" in Strange Horizons (nominated for the BSFA short form award)
(2006) "Ile of Dogges" (with Sarah Monette) in Aeon 7 (reprinted in Gardner Dozois' YBSF for 2006)
(2006) "Dos Sueños con Trenes" ["Two Dreams on Trains," Spanish-language version] in Cuasar #42, Marzo
(2006) "The Cold Blacksmith" in Jim Baen's Universe (Reprinted in Best Of Jim Baen's Universe, Volume 1)
(2006) "Gone to Flowers" in Eidolon, Eidolon Books, Jonathan Strahan & Jeremy G Byrne eds.
(2006) "Love Among The Talus" in Strange Horizons

(2007) "War Stories" in Baen's Universe
(2007) "Cryptic Coloration" in Baen's Universe
+(2007) "The Rest of Your Life in a Day" in Baen's Universe
(2007) "The Something Dreaming Game" in Fast Forward Pyr Books, Lou Anders, ed.
(207) a portion of the forthcoming novel One-Eyed Jack & The Suicide King, serialized in Subterranean.
+(2007) "Matte" in Fictitious Force
+(2007) "Inelastic Collisions" in Inferno from Tor books, 2007, Ellen Datlow, ed.
(2007) "Abjure the Realm" in Coyote Wild
(2007) "Tideline" in Asimov's (!Finally sold a story to Asimov's! For your reference, IA was still editing the damned thing when I started submitting to it.)
(2007) "Orm the Beautiful" in Clarkesworld
(2007) "Black is the Color" in Subterranean, Summer 2007
+(2007) "Hobnoblin Blues" in Realms of Fantasy

+(2008) "Sonny Liston Takes the Fall," in an as-yet untitled anthology from Del Rey, Ellen Datlow, ed.
+(2008) "Boojum" (with Sarah Monette) to Fast Ships, Black Sails, Jeff & Ann VanderMeer, ed.
+(2008) "The Ladies," in Alternate Earths, Jay Lake, ed.

Maybe I should sort out my nonfic publications, too. But I haven't actually kept track of them.

*Titles subject to change, and all future dates are subject to change.

Elvis he died young.
Jesus he died younger.

               --Garnet Rogers

More Cat v. Monkey forthcoming, I promise, to make up for the spam.

problem cat

who am i? come on question me.

Cat: Monkey, you're in my sunbeam.
Monkey: Your sunbeam?
Cat: Of course. All sunbeams are my sunbeam.
Monkey: But this sunbeam happens to be on my chair.
Cat: It doesn't matter. It's like... mineral rights. Or airspace. I demand you vacate the sunbeam at once!
Monkey: Possession is 9/10th of the law, you know.
Cat: *pushes at Monkey's laptop*
Monkey: *emulates the immovable object*
Cat: *walks across laptop*
Monkey: *removes cat*
[inserts several iterations of above here]
Cat: This is so not fair.
Monkey: Life isn't fair, Princess.
Cat: No sunbeam. No lap. No lap. No sunbeam. I shall go into a death spiral of depression and pine, and starve, and waste....
Monkey: By the way, I put out canned food.
Cat: *runs to bowl, suddenly revitalized*
Monkey: Life is so hard for some of us.
Cat: By the way, did you know the ripstop nylon on your guitar case makes a great scratching post?
Monkey: Yeah, well, then at least you're not using my boots.
Cat: Anymore.

writing companion to wolves _ truepenny

no one is safe

*g* I stumbled across an lj comment somewhere recently (and no, I won't say where) about how odd it was to find writers linking back to blog comments on their books.

Now you know what my life is like. ;-)

Welcome to the Internets, where if you say someone's name, like the Devil, they just might appear...

(I'm going to have to set up a google alert for "El*zabeth B**r," I can just tell.)

And on that note....

A bunch of reviews of things I wrote, for good or ill:

I really liked the Avast! Feminist Conspiracy! one.

I should go do math now instead of hanging around on message boards. But man, I have no ambition.

NB: Oh, and just for future reference? Everybody? And not just the three people I've had this conversation with this week?

When I say "I don't care" about something, I'm not being passive-aggressive. I honestly don't care. Mostly, I have very few control issues about anything, and I'm so laid back I'm dead.

If I care... trust me, you'll know about it.

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writing dust bible 'house of dust"

we have titles

Okay. I have heard back from Anne my editor Anne.

We have titles. The Dust books are Dust, Chill, and Grail, and the trilogy title is "Jacob's Ladder."

Mark you calenders.