April 27th, 2007

criminal minds reid yes i'm a genius

fuck you, fuck you, fuck you and all we've been through

Somebody called me brave today.

No, not really. Some of my friends are very brave. They've been talking honestly, recently, about things that terrify me. They're brave. (If you are wondering if I am looking at you, I am, yes.)

There's a conspiracy of silence and shame, and I will not be a part of it.

Still, I find myself wondering. How honest do you want me to be?

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But that's okay. Because I actually like being alone.

Of course, it may not be good for me.

That's probably part of the scar tissue, too.

You know what? I'm bored with my trauma. That's it. I'm putting it out there and I am putting it to bed. I can't make the scars go away, and there is no catharsis that will kiss it and make it all better. But I can treat the damage just like everything else about me.

This is me. This is who I am and how I got that way.

And I am okay with that.

All I want from you is to empty your head.

criminal minds reid mathematics

Silence = Death

This is not news.

Why do we have to keep relearning it?

I think you all, everybody who commented or emailed or posted something of their own, are pretty fucking mighty.

Oddly enough, for me, writing all that down made it a hell of a lot smaller. It's amazing how the shadows shrink when you nail them to the wall.

Oh, yeah? And that is why I'm teaching myself algebra.

And guitar, too.

And now, back to this &^%*&(^()*&^ review test....
criminal minds reid mathematics

the new marine was just fifteen in 1939

That's chapter six done, and I actually even passed the "review test."

Thank God the teacher said it was "open book."

Onwards tomorrow to linear equations! yay!

And I can't believe that I just figured out that in some ways this is a catharsis. As I just said elsewhere:

I gotta be the only dumb asshole on the internets reclaiming her blighted childhood through algebra.