June 2nd, 2007

twain & tesla

Cat V. Monkey on a hot tin roof

Cat: Monkey, it's hot.
Monkey: Yes, thank you, I've noticed.
Cat: I want to snuggle. Move over.
Monkey: Cat, it's hot.
Cat: Monkey, want snuggle.
Monkey: Could you be anywhere else in this apartment right now?

Robot: DOO DOO DOO DOOT DOO DOO!
Cat: ARGH! ROBOT MONSTER!
Monkey: Here. I'll lock it in the bedroom. Cat, look. If you leave the bedroom, I will lock the robot--
Cat: OMGWTFBBQ!
Monkey: Oh... eleventy-one. Cat, come here. Okay, look, I'll carry you.
Robot: vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whhhhhhhhirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Cat: ARGH! IT'S GETTING AWAY!
Monkey: Stop struggling. No claws. Cat, no!--
Cat: *attempting to leap free of monkey, wipes out badly on hardwood floor*
Monkey: OMG ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
Cat: Ow. *limps off in a dignified fashion, then leaps to the back of the sofa in a single bound*
Monkey: ...I guess you're all right.
Cat: No thanks to you. Biped.
Monkey: You know, your life would be much less hazardous if you would just trust your monkey.
Cat: Yes, and look where that gets me.
Robot: vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whhhhhhhhirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr vuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Cat: AIEEEEEEEEEE ROBOT MONSTER!

Cat: Monkey, it's hot.
Monkey: Yes, thank you, I've noticed. That's why I'm napping.
Cat: I want to snuggle. Move over.
Monkey: Cat, it's hot.
Cat: Monkey, want snuggle.
Monkey: There's supposed to be a thunderstorm tonight. Can we snuggle after dark?
Cat: Snuggle now.
Monkey: Here, how about if I scritch you?
Cat: ....a little to the left, thank you kindly.

Cat: Monkey, it's hot.
Monkey: *drips sweat*
Cat: I want to snuggle. Move over.
Monkey: Cat, it's hot.
Cat: Monkey, want snuggle.
Monkey: Fine, I will turn on the AC so I can stand to have you snuggle me.
Cat: Wiktory!
Monkey: Yeah, I know. If I weren't so cheap I would have given in hours ago, and actually done more work instead of wandering around sweaty and disconsolate and distracted since the sun got high.
Cat: Nobody ever said you were a smart monkey.