August 7th, 2008

twain & tesla

Link salad for breakfast:

1) Infoworld article on a security exploit for Firefox 2.0. Sadly, upgrading to 3.0 lost me my snap links.

2) Nine hundred thousand pounds... of bananas.

3) In Shoreditch, archaeologists unearth what seems likely to be the remains of The Theatre. (This is the Burbage's original playhouse, which was pulled down after a lease dispute, the timbers then being used to construct its more famous offspring, The Globe, on the opposite bank of the Thames.)

4) My monthly article at Storytellers Unplugged, which is (this time) on self-promotion.

5) Due to the incredible coolness of the fan community, the Shadow Unit Wiki is full of spoilery and speculaty goodness.



Right. Time to get that last pile of books out the door. By the way, if you ordered books, and you get your books, and I screwed something up, please let me know and I will fix it to the best of my ability.
writing whiskey soul

i'll show you where the white fishes swim on the bottom of the sea

...okay, this is sovay's fault, with associate blame to leahbobet and stillsostrange.

A Demon Lover Muxtape.

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Runners-up:
  • Neko Case - Dirty Knife (no room; already had some creepy girls; all my friends already know this song)
  • Cat Power - Werewolf (no room; already had some creepy girls)
  • Blue Oyster Cult - I Love The Night, oh and also that other really famous song of theirs. (everybody's heard this already)
  • Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting (everybody's heard this already)
  • David Bowie - Width of a Circle (too long, but really, if you want extended devilsmut, that's your song)
  • Joan Osborne - Man in the Long Black Coat (everybody's heard this already)
  • Sarah McLachlan - Angel, Possession, and about sixty others. (well-enough known that I didn't feel the need to unearth them)
  • Leonard Cohen - Light as the Breeze (ran out of room.)
  • Steeleye Span - All their other Demon Lover songs: The Demon Lover, Tam Lin, King Henry, Orfeo, etc. (could only fit one. and the live version of Tam Lin is eleven minutes long.)
  • Sting - Moon Over Bourbon Street (not going to surprise anybody with that.)
  • Jethro Tull - All their other Demon Lover songs: Kelpie, Witch's Promise, Velvet Green, etc. (I thought this one fit the theme best.)
  • Garbage - Queer (well, not technically a demon lover. But really, close enough for government work.)
  • Chris Smither - Lola (Okay, really, it's a bad woman blues. But what a bad woman.)
  • Jonathan Coulton - I Crush Everything, Skullcrusher Mountain, The Future Soon (all wonderful. all not quite demon lovers, but in on the same technicality that covers the Andrew Bird song. But you can hear them all at JC's website!)
  • Terri Gibbs - Somebody's Knocking. (oh, but here's the Youtube to make it up to you, because I can hear your cries of 80's cheese dismay from here.)
  • Six million versions of "The House-Carpenter." (too obvious.)

problem cat

Cat V. Monkey: The Wreckoning


Cat:
Monkey, what are you doing?
Monkey: Making you a bed by lining this wonderful cardboard box with the fleece that the long-haired monkey brought you.
Cat: Ooo. The long-haired monkey. She spoils me treats me with the dignity my royal rank deserves.
Monkey: Well, here. Now you have a box. With a nice fleece in it. And I am going to put all your toys in it, so they have a place to live that isn't, you know, in my shoes, or under my pillows, or tucked into bed beside me....
Cat: You're housecleaning. Nesting monkeys make me suspicious.
Monkey: I'm making my bed.
Cat: Is a made bed like a made guy?
Monkey: Grandma let you watch The Sopranos again, didn't she? Wow, there are a lot of glitterballs in this house. How come you've pulled all the glitter out of just the green ones?
Cat: Ooo! Throw that one!
Monkey: What if I throw the pink one? It still has glitter.
Cat: *studiously ignores pink glitterball* I like the green ones.
Monkey: ...aren't cats only supposed to have color vision on the red end of the spectrum? How can you possibly like the green ones when you can't see green?
Cat: The inadequacies of your primitive science are not my concern. Hey! What are you doing with My Glitterballs?
Monkey: I have to pick up your toys so I can sweep. The floor is crunchy.
Cat: No robot?
Monkey: It's too late for the robot. We have neighbors.
Cat: I remain unconvinced.
Monkey: Here. What happens when I put some catnip in the box with the toys?
Cat: Ooo. Box! Best box ever! Box!
Monkey: *snickers*

(later)

Cat: Monkey, what are you doing on the talking box? Are you talking to the cat that beeps again?
Monkey: I'm ordering you some new sheets and pillows And a new comforter. To replace our ten twelve year old ones, which we've had since before we got married, let alone divorced.
Cat: I remember married. It had those Other Cats. We were not amused.
Monkey: Yeah. The cats the ex liked, so he got to keep them.
Cat: Exactly. Hey! Was that a subtle, left-handed insult?
Monkey: Not exactly.
Cat: (Unplacated) Besides, you didn't have enough sheets when the other monkeys were here this summer.
Monkey: This is also true. Now we will have more sheets.
Cat: But the best ones are still for me, aren't they?
Monkey: Considering that you usually sleep on my hair, I think we can assure that.
Cat: Wait a minute. Does extra sheets and pillows mean the other monkeys are coming back?
Monkey: Not immediately.
Cat: But eventually?
Monkey: Possibly.
Cat: Does this mean the long-haired monkey is coming back?
Monkey: Possibly.
Cat: And the red monkey?
Monkey: ...possibly.
Cat: ...and the yellow monkey?
Monkey: The one whose hair you slept on? I bet she'd rather come back if she knows she'll be able to lift her head off the pillow in the morning.
Cat: That wasn't a denial.
Monkey: ...it's possible. She might bring a squirt gun next time, though.
Cat: I don't believe you. You are a cruel and mocking Monkey.
Monkey: Pretty much learned it at home, yep.
Cat: Four monkeys. Four! Monkeys! With that many servants, my place in Ulthar is assured!
Monkey: ...excuse me?
Cat: Oh, um, nothing. What's the best way to suffocate a monkey, again? I'm thinking of, uh, writing a story. Yeah. Hey, have you ever heard of a made cat?