December 4th, 2010

criminal minds reid eat

every generation gets fooled again and every generation is to blame

TBRE and I just got our first dispensation from the Hurricane Farm meat CSA we joined. I love this idea--support local agriculture and eat delicious food at reasonable prices. I drove out to the farm yesterday to pick it up: we got about eight pounds of pork and five pounds of beef, I think, though I didn't weigh it. And two dozen eggs, because I bought an extra dozen. (Our local ag co-op's supply of local eggs has dried up, and we--well, we're spoiled. It's very hard to go back to supermarket eggs when you've been eating eggs from happy chickens.)

I got to meet the turkeys (Narragansetts; beautiful and entertaining and interactive, especially the tom, who gobbled back each time the farm's owner whistled to him) and the chickens (including a Rhode Island Red who followed us around like a puppy, clucking and begging) and a couple of young steers who will be next spring's young beef.

The farm buys its bull calves from a local dairy farmer, so they are Jerseys. And having just split a pretty little round steak with TBRE for breakfast, I now understand why Jerseys have been the go-to cattle for small farmers for three hundred years. Because their amazing delicious rich milk aside, that was, no kidding, one of the the best steaks I've ever tasted. They're too small to be viable as commercial meat cattle, but if you are just after feeding your family? Yum.

Apparently said dairy farmer is very pleased to be able to sell them to someplace where they will live their short lives in a sunny pasture, rather than a veal hut. And me, I'm a pretty unapologetic meat eater: if I were ideological about it, I'd probably say I was a flexitarian, because I'm perfectly happy with meat-free meals... but as I tried vegetarianism as a teenager and gave it up due to feeling awful, it's apparent that my metabolism demands animal protein and dairy fat. So at the very least I can try to be responsible and aware of what I'm eating.

Also, real food tastes better. I understand the social and economic pressures that led to why we stopped eating it, but I'm profoundly grateful that it's becoming easily available again.
comics invisibles king mob

choose your weapon. time to pay.

I need to learn to fall better. My butt is sore from jukido last night, from landing on it. I was trying very hard not to tense up when I was thrown, but it's not always easy to let yourself fall when you're actually really getting thrown at speed. Still, I guess I have to learn sometime. And that's what the mats are for.

The reason I'm blogging it is because I had a very weird conversation with the blackbelt I was working with (who is about half my size and half my age, and totally made of awesome--great teacher, and very considerate--but she also pushes me to do it right). But anyway, we were practicing a technique that involved a face strike (in slow motion) and the first time she demonstrated, I shied away.

She stopped right there and said something to the effect of, "Do you have a history of abuse?"

Man, PTSD is transparent, when you know what you're looking for. I said "Yeah," and she kind of nerved herself and awkwardly asked, "Right now?"

And I said, "No, when I was a kid," and "It was a long time ago." I could kind of see her talking herself down from the intervention. So we had a little awkward conversation where she was trying to be supportive and neither one of us really knew what to say, and I kind of felt bad, because she was really hesitant about using any pain for the rest of the night. And I had a hell of a time relaxing so the falls didn't hurt. But we worked it out.

What I have learned (okay, I knew this already) is that my balance is kind of iffy at the best. Sigh.

I barely know her, but she's one of the good ones, I think. And man, it's weird having these conversations with people where they realize you're a statistic.

Anyway. If you're out there, and I'm pretty sure you are, you're not alone and it does eventually scab over. I'm not really sure what else to say. I'm still way nervous talking about this stuff, you know?