December 15th, 2011

atc

you better run, better run, outrun my gun

So the latest pudge report milestone is Collapse )

In potentially less trigger news, "Governess," my story for the Datlow/Windling anthology Queen Victoria's Book of Spells has been submitted and accepted (on time and everything!), I've sold reprint rights to "Tideline" to a Prime Books anthology entitled Robots: the recent A.I. (Which also has Aliette de Bodard and Rochita Cloenen Ruiz and Catherynne Valente in it, among others), and my brain is still pretty much post-novel mush, so I'm reading a lot and brushing my poor matted shedding dog--who is back to having all four feet, and I will spare you the gory details of a cyst draining, except to say it's a hell of a lot nicer than an abscess draining.

Oh, and I'm working on a Cat Vs. Monkey post, and may have an announcement on that front soonish...
problem cat

i would rather be alone than pretend that i'm all right

Cat vs. Monkey: back in the vet clinic again

dateline: 10:00 am Monday morning, after a sleepless night for everybody...

Monkey: Well, here we are in the exam room waiting for the vet.
Professional Dog Breeder Related To The Monkey, Along For Moral Support And Because The Vets Know Her By Name (PDBRTTMAFMSABTVKHBN): I don't wait well.
Complaint Department: [For once in her life, is not feeling well enough to comment]

*door opens*

That Nice Dr. Malm: ...
Monkey: This is the Complaint Department. She currently really does have something to complain about.
That Nice Dr. Malm: Karen*, that's a cat.
Monkey: She's the only one.
(PDBRTTMAFMSABTVKHBN): We like a little variety. Don't worry, there are still nine Briards at home.
That Nice Dr. Malm: Thank goodness. For a moment I was worried. Now, she's having vomiting and diarrhea?
Complaint Department: I'm sure it's something that Monkey did wrong.
Monkey: And she's dehydrated. I'm worried about a gastric obstruction: she was acting like she had a hairball, but... nothing.
That Nice Dr. Malm: Well, if she's passing stuff through, she's probably not obstructed. Normally, we'd see no stool at all under those conditions. But there's a lot of other issues it could be, and I want to prepare you: some are fairly serious.
Monkey: ...we know.
Complaint Department: Monkey, are you really going to permit this person to lay hands upon me?
That Nice Dr. Malm: Well, her abdomen feels pretty good. No masses. Let's do a film and some bloodwork.

[a film and some bloodwork are carried out offstage, amid protestations and demands to Unhand Me, You Varlet!]

That Nice Dr. Malm: Well, here's her x-ray. As you can see, there's nothing visible on it that shouldn't be. And we'd be able to see any problems; this cat is... very clean inside right now. No signs of cancer or any obstruction.

[audible sighs of relief from everybody except the cat.]

Complaint Department: How would you like it if I talked about your bowels on the internet?
That Nice Dr. Malm: So I'd say, pending bloodwork, we've got a nonspecific gastritis or inflammatory bowel disease going on here. We'll keep her overnight for fluids.
(PDBRTTMAFMSABTVKHBN): "What's this outline here?"
That Nice Dr. Malm: That's intestinal gas inflating her colon. And this little bubble over here--That's a fart.
Complaint Department: I never.
Monkey: Could have fooled me.




*(PDBRTTMAFMSABTVKHBN)'s name is Karen, if you could not figure that out.