workingTemur closed his eyes and smiled against her shoulder
Had it not been for his growing sense of unease, Temur might have closed his eyes and smiled against her shoulder
Had it not been for his growing unease, Temur might have closed his eyes and smiled against her shoulder
If not for the unease growing in his belly, Temur might have closed his eyes and smiled against her shoulder.
If not for the unease tossing in his belly, Temur might have closed his eyes and smiled against her shoulder.
If not for the unease tightening his belly, Temur might have closed his eyes and smiled against her shoulder.
If not for the unease constricting his belly, Temur might have closed his eyes and smiled against her shoulder.
If not for the unease tossing in his belly, Temur might have closed his eyes and smiled against her shoulder.
Not a flashy sentence by any means, but this is pretty much how I write everything. Tweak and twist and pull and settle, fuss and pull out cliches and try out verbs and try to get the scaffolding folded out of sight.
It slows me down from how I used to write, but I think the end result is better.