Fran Wilde interviews me, mostly on food.
Tor is giving away its spring fantasy collection, including Range of Ghosts.
I feel like I need to say something more about the first link, which is this:
I've had my sexuality mocked, miscategorized, and dismissed--sometimes by people I had previously trusted very deeply--for my entire adult life. I've been not straight enough/not gay enough/too dyky/not dyky enough/too monogamous/not monogamous for somebody else's standards all my life.
You know what? Nobody else's opinion fucking matters in the slightest. Right now, I happen to be in a monogamous relationship with a heterosexual male, and I have every intention of maintaining that relationship as long as it's possible to keep it going as a net positive in both our lives. He's an astounding and challenging and rewarding human being, and I think I'm lucky as hell that some unexpected interpersonal alchemy took us where it did.
But this relationship does not retroactively abrogate all of my other relationships.
I don't actually like defining or labeling myself, because all of the labels feel awfully simplistic and binary and false to me. I certainly don't fit society's established roles for women--but I consider that society's definitional problem, not mine. I consider my gender and sex and sexuality to be pretty much fucking irrelevant to who I am and who I love and how I interact with the world at large. The former two are biological issues, with no more bearing on who I am than the color of my hair.
The latter has a hell of a lot to do with who I am--probably the only thing more central to my identity than who I care for is my art--but it's always been a matter of for whom I care, and genitalia has very little to do with it.
So the reason I identify as queer--and, when I can force myself to feel like I'm not appropriating somebody else's identity, as genderqueer*--is not because I feel a personal need to claim it as an identity (I don't actually consider either thing important to my identity in the least), but because I consider it important politically to be out. Because I'm here, and I do not fit into society's boxes, and maybe it's comforting for somebody else occasionally that I exist.
It's an activist choice, in other words. As for what other people think of me? I don't actually care, unless I have an intimate relationship with them.
And I support anybody's right to self-determination when it comes to their own identity, their own body, and the people they love, partner with, and have wild one-night stands with.
*I've gone through this as an abuse survivor too: how can I claim it when other people had it so much worse than I did? But dammit, it's important to be visible.