it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken
matociquala

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Not really whinging so much as kicking the tires and slamming the hood a bit.

nolove from On Spec, 310 days. Meanwhile, sent out submissions to Ideomancer, Wicked Hollow (new market for me), and Black Gate today. We must! We must! We must increase our bust! (Actually, increasing mine would be a spectacularly bad idea, but you get the metaphor.)

Working on a paper edit of Bridge of Blood and Iron, which is approximately 50% rewritten. Currently I'm rereading, line-editing, and waiting for lightning to strike and the New Shape Of The Novel to rise shambling up in my head so that I can shout "It's Alive! It's Alive!"

It's possible that I've just completely broken it and I should have trunked the damned thing in September instead of wasting another two or three months of my life on it. But, you know. I'm stubborn. And it's really objectively not nearly as awful, terrible, massively bad and depressing as my subconscious wants to insist it is. I need somebody to hover over me chanting "You are a better writer than you think you are and you do know what you're doing and you can pull this off and if the book were actually that bad Jenn would have told you to trunk it and move on."

And, you know, reading it I can see what's good in it. Large parts of the worldbuilding, for example, are just downright bloody neat. The plot arc works, the characters are strong, the emotion is honest. I think if I were reading this book, I would like it.

I'm just so very, very done with these people. It's like being trapped in an elevator with an old boyfriend when you're happily remarried. Let this be a lesson to me: never try to re-open a relationship with something you've already had closure on, especially if it was cathartic and difficult the first time through.

You will merely wind up bored off your ass. In literature as it is in life.

Alas. I am allegedly a professional, and this is my job, and I will do a good job even though it annoys me in the process. My current technique involves scribbling in longhand all over the manuscript, and writing things on lined paper to stuff into it, and generally making a glorious mess and trying to convince my sulky inner artist that really this is a marvellous, challenging game.

I'll let you know how that goes. *g*

I've been doing so much revision lately that I've had to stop tracking my wordcount, which is a very odd feeling, because I've been doing that--a day by day spreadsheet--for two years now. (Which is how I know I wrote over a million words of fiction since November, 2001)

But when it's cutting and adding and re-arranging and stuff.... it's hard to track as wordcount.

By the way, my spam filter has gone positively squiddy, so if I seem even slower than usual in answering email, there is the possibility that I did not get it. Feel free to leave a comment and inquire.
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