it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken
matociquala

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Peter! Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeter! I can see your house from here!

Now that I knew everything else that had to happen before I got to the end of Worldwired, it was time for the notecards. And I was a good bear and ignored my upset tummy and sat down with all my hideous scribbled outline notes and I wrote out my notecards. And I have 33 of them, including four or five "Oh, dear, must figure out how this happenses" and one or two "What the heck is so and so's motivation for this extremely pivotal actionses?", but most of them, say, twenty or so, are actual plot points, about one card to a scene.

Which means that these 33 note cards may comprise somewhere between one hundred and one hundred and fifty pages of actual text. A hundred and fifty would be better, because that means I can still write to size. (Ahhh, my days as a fluff page reporter did turn out ot be useful for something, after all.) And if I keep turning out 1500-2000 words a day, I should have this thing put to bed in draft by mid July, which means I can give it two weeks to settle before I start ripping it apart in August. ANd not have to be writing while I'm at Comicon, which would be nice.

I can actually see the end of the book from here. It's a surreal, blinking in too-bright sunlight sort of a feeling. And there's a profound, almost hysterical relief underlying it. Because there were times when I really wasn't certain at all that I could write this book.

And now I'm sure I can. It may not be a Hugo winner, but it will be done, and it will be mine, and it will at the least be craftsmanlike, even if it's not brilliant.

And I won't have that terrible sinking feeling that I'm about to fail at my first big test as a professional writer.

Heck, maybe I'll even kick the imposter syndrome for a little while.
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