I've probably got ten pages just of internal monologue and another ten pages of expo I can nuke that way.
Hannah discovered that Kelpie is a Gypsy Vanner. Go Hannah. She's so right. Now I have a wonderful picture in my head of what he looks like... and I want to give him more scenes because of it. Grin. Gorgeous horses, mostly-white piebalds with a refined heavy horse build and tons of feathers, Roman noses and a gorgeous strong neck. I'm in love. **pines**
I may not have a runaway mass-market success on my hands here, given that reader reaction to the distanced narrator is a little odd. I'm not sure how much of that is workshoppism--it seems to me that published books aren't nearly as "roll in the narrator's emotions" as the workshop likes. I guess I just have to write it the way it feels right to me and try to spare the melodrama. I still think the character's actions should be the truest revealer of emotion, and "show-don't-tell," you know. Ah well.
I do like the book more than I remembered. So that's good. Back to the coal mines now.