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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

[23:01] matociquala: http://imagebin.houseofhobbits.com/underwear.jpg
[23:01] matociquala: *g*
[23:01] matociquala: <--easily amused by dated underwear ads
[23:02] stillsostrange: heeeeeee
[23:02] matociquala: I want undies that fight fatigue.
[23:03] matociquala: hell yes.
[23:03] stillsostrange: Me too
[23:03] katallen: a non-sag pouch
[23:03] stillsostrange: Because sagging leads to fatigue
[23:04] adriennelily: I don't wear undies
[23:04] katallen: neither does Superman
[23:04] matociquala: 'cause lugging around that penis all day just Wears Me Out.
[23:05] adriennelily: HA!
[23:05] katallen: well you can see how it would weigh on you after a while
[23:05] stillsostrange: heeeeeee
[23:05] matociquala: Well, my boobs give me backache.
[23:05] matociquala: so yanno.
[23:05] stillsostrange: I do need underwire
[23:05] stillsostrange: yeah
[23:05] stillsostrange: However....
[23:05] stillsostrange: I suspect most penii are not DDs
[23:05] matociquala: even a largish penis is--
[23:05] matociquala: yeah
[23:05] katallen: see, can I write convincing male characters without being aware of the problems of sag fatigue?
[23:05] stillsostrange: I clearly can't.
[23:06] matociquala: Somebody needs to blog this conversation.
[23:06] stillsostrange: Some of my male characters hardly think about their penises at all.
[23:06] katallen: maybe that's why they often play pocket pool
[23:06] matociquala: I had a conversation with a male friend today where I had to explain to him what dance belts were for.
[23:06] stillsostrange: *dies*
[23:06] katallen: it's not about the naughty thoughts, it's the saggy ones
[23:07] matociquala: Well, I understand you *so* have to adjust, now and again.
[23:07] matociquala: *do
[23:07] matociquala: So I've been told
[23:07] matociquala: Not having one of my own, unless you count community property.
[23:07] katallen: "gravity bringing you down?"
[23:07] matociquala: *dies*
[23:07] katallen: community property probably counts
[23:07] cpolk: it sure is!
[23:07] matociquala: Do your balls hang low?
[23:08] matociquala: Do they wobble too and fro?
[23:08] matociquala: Can you tie them in a knot?
[23:08] katallen: get a Reis out of life
[23:08] matociquala: Can you tie them in a bow?
[23:08] stillsostrange: *chokes*
[23:08] matociquala: Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
[23:08] matociquala: Do yoooouuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[23:08] katallen: ::slams fist on desk::
[23:09] matociquala: Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww?
[23:09] stillsostrange: *stares at bear*
[23:09] stillsostrange: *applauds*
[23:09] matociquala: You don't know that song, Amanda?
[23:09] matociquala: *g*
[23:09] stillsostrange: I have heard it, yes
[23:09] stillsostrange: But rarely sung by tipsy bears.


... 'cause lugging around that penis all day just Wears Me Out.

You're doing it wrong.

That ad would never fly in the New World Order. Too gay.

(Sympathies about Ollie.)
It does sort of look like odalisque-guy is checking out seminaked-guy's ass, doesn't it?
And then there's the fact that the underwear is called Scandals.

Which sounds like a line Victoria's Secret ought to launch.
I have green balls. No, I'm serious. Have you ever seen the Garnier Fructis hair shit in the little ball shaped bottle? Well, we make those bottles, and we suck at it. I'm constantly running out to the line to feel the green balls, and make sure they're good and hard. Soft green balls are no good.

This is, of course, an enormous joke at work. "How are your green balls doing?" and "Have you checked on your green balls yet?" and "How are your balls feeling today?"

Then on Friday some dumbass maintenance man hit a water line with his lift and flooded the place; now I have wet green balls. Hoh boy. It's a real good thing I have a sense of humor.
"What do you have when you have two little green balls in your hands?"

"Kermit's undivided attention."
I have more than once informed markgritter that after we have kids, he will be responsible for carting my tits around. He has never once suggested that I should reciprocate in this fashion, but then, I have never heard that fatherhood has any analogous effect on the testicles.

Otherwise it might be a pretty effective paternity test.

Like honking someone's nose and having it go aooooooga instead of honk or beep. Which is how you know if they're a dad.

Um. I think I should get breakfast and sit quietly now.
Fatherhood does not have an analogous effect on the testicles, but some guys act as if it did.
Now I'm trying to imagine a set of DD testicles....

You'd really need a dance belt, then.
My husband wanted to know what I was laughing about.

Now he wants you to know, Ebear, that you have entirely too much free time.
It was Saturday night!
Um, hope I don't lose my girl card, but...

what's a dance belt?
It's a support appliance worn by male ballet dancers. kelliem and I were discussing them in depth the other day, so they're on my mind.

I think the phrase she used was "lift and separate."
"separate"? Ow.

I never even knew the version of that song I knew was bowdlerized!

I knew terrible things had happened to "Big Rock Candy Mountain" and "Joy to the World" (3 Dog Night version) to make them into "children's songs," but I'd no idea the original body part in the above-sung song wasn't ears.

("Ears" work v. well, btw, for anyone who wants a work-safe version to sing at the top of their lungs.)

Thank you, Bear, for continuing my education.
Yes, ears. I definitely knew it as ears. We sang that round the camp fire as Girl Guides (with actions). And until this moment, I hadn't a clue it was a cleaned up version either.
*g* I've heard the "ears" version, too. I think the actual, original, unbowdlerized version is "boobs."

Which probably presents the most interesting visuals of any.

Especially the bow.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Serves them right for staying up all night shoutin at each other.
Hey... I gotta git me some of them thar Scandals. I didn't realize that I was experiencing fatigue all this time... :-)

BTW, the song is waaay disturbing. Kinda catchy, though...