it's a great life, if you don't weaken (matociquala) wrote,
it's a great life, if you don't weaken
matociquala

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In the somewhat dubious spirit of holiday giving--

Many years ago, when I was in college and the SCA and didn't know any better, I started somewhat compulsively collecting variant verses of the notorious filk to "That Old Time Religion." While my accomplishment was nothing like tamnonlinear's, I was pretty proud of it at the time.

Some of them are offensive to somebody, I'm sure.
Some of them are very funny.
Some of them are not.

They're more or less organized by religion, but not really.

And now, in the spirit of the holiday, I offer them to you.

Well, we went to worship Venus,
By the Gods! You should have seen us!
And the clinic had to screen us...
Still, she's good enough for me.




(The compleat incomplete)


That Old Time Religion


Gimme that old time religion,


Gimme that old time religion,


Gimme that old time religion,


It's good enough for me!


 


 


We will pray five times to Allah


For he gave his loyal followahs


The mighty petro-dollah


And that sure sounds good to me!


 


 


Warriors for Allah


Are sure to have a gala


Time in old Valhalla


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


Call him God, or call him Allah


The priest will take yor dollah


Easy living from your follow


-ers, but sorry, not from me!


 


 


Let us worship Aphrodite


Though we hear she's rather flighty


Still, she looks good in a nightie


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will all see Aphrodite


Though she's pretty wild and flighty


She will meet us in her nightie


And she's good enough for me!



 


It was good for Aphrodite


It was good for Aphrodite


Cause she doesn't wear a nightie


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


We all worship Aphrodite,


and Her sister bold Astarte,


They both throw a pretty good party,


And that's just fine with me!



 


We'll sing praises to Apollo


Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow


From Ionia to Gaul-o


And that's good enough for me!



 


We'll sing praises to Apollo;


Where the Sun God leads we'll follow


('Though his head's a little hollow) -


He's good enough for me!


 


 


We will have a mighty orgy


In the honour of Astarte


It will be one helluva party


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will have a mighty Party


In the honor of Astarte


Grab your chiton - don't be tardy


'Cause she's good enough for me!


 



There are those who worship no gods


For they think that there are low odds


That the god-seers aren't drunk sods


But they're good enough for me!


 



Azathoth is in his Chaos


Azathoth is in his Chaos


Now if only he don't sway us


Then it's good enough for me!


 


 


Oh the Phillistines abound


Oh the Phillistines abound


They had the biggest Baals around


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will party on with Bacchus


Till he's drunk enough to sock us


Prohibitionists may mock us


But he's good enough for me!


 


 


Let us raise a toast to Bacchus,


We will raise a royal ruckus,


Then we'll lay us down and f**k us


That's good enough for me.


When we worship Bacchus


The ethanol will sock us


We'll all get good and raucous


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will venerate old Bacchus


Drinking beer and eating tacos


Til you've tried it please don't knock us


Cause it's good enough for me!


 


 


And what about this Bacchus


Who lives just to raise a ruckus


Loosens women so they'll **** us


And he's good enough for me!


 


 


We will worship feline Bast


Though we know she's sort of Fast


Pass the mice, and raise a glass-


She's sure good enough for me!


 


 


Yes, Bob your pockets would have cleanest


If you pay him (I'm not mean(us))


You'd have to be a "subgenius"


But he's good enough for me.


Now there's a smokin' dude named Bob


If you're not green then you're a slob


And all the pink are left to sob


when the ufos come to be.


Let us sing for Brooharia


Though the bloods a lot less cleaner


It's not Christian Santaria


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will venerate Bubastis


We will venerate Bubastis


If you like us then just ask us


You'll be good enough for me


We will venerate Bubastis


Cuz my cat walked up and ast us


Now the catbox is DISASTROUS!


But it's good enough for me!


 


 


Yes, my roomate worships Buddha


There is no idol cutah


comes in copper, bronze, and pewtah


So he's good enough for me!


 


 


It was good enough for Buddha,


As a god he's kinda cute-a,


And he comes in brass or pewta'


So he's good enough for me!


 


 


Oh we all will follow Buddah


Oh we all will follow Buddah


And we'll eat no food but Gouda


Which is Gouda-nuff for me


If your rising sign is Aries


You'll be taken by the faeries


Meet the Buddha in Benares


Where he'll hit you with a pie


No one wrote a verse for Buddah


Tho I think they really coulda


And I really think they shoulda


Cause he's good enough for me!


 


 


We'll invoke the blessed Camber


And the Unicorn of Amber


And the wizard Deliamber


They're good enough for me!


 


 


To the tune of Handel's "Largo"


We will hymn the gods of Cargo


Till they slap on an embargo


They'll be good enough for me!


 


 


Just like Carlos Castenada


Just like Carlos Castenada


It'll get ya soon or later


And it's good enough for me.


All the christians pray to Jesus


Every Sunday on their kneeses


Then they do just what they pleases


for the rest of every week.


Oh the Christians are a hummin'


Cuz they say their God is cummin'


but our God has come two times tonight


And the Goddess at least three!


Well the Christians all are humming


Cause they say their God is coming,


Our God came three times this evening


And it's good enough for me.


Let's all listen up to Jesus


He says rich folks like old Croesus


Will be damned until hell freezes


And that don't sound good to me!


 


 


We will worship Christian Jesus


And do just like John Paul pleases


That we will... when Hades freezes!


And that's good enough for me!


 



You can keep your saints with halos,


Your hosannas or dayenus:


Let's throw virgins in volcanos!


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


And the Romans said of Jesus


"Let us kill him, he don't please us-


though the atheists will tease us!"


Still, that's good enough for me!


 


 


Tho J.C.'s into fish, too,


He's an avatar of Vishnu


So he is welcome here, too,


And that's good enough for me!


 



Anytime that I start hearin'


"Jesus loves you" I start leerin'


Maybe so, but not like Brirn (?)


Which is good enough for me!


 


 


When at last we pray to Jesus


From our sins we hope he frees us


eternal life he guarantees us


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


Oh we'll all be Fundamental


And be Holy Testamental


And never Trancendental


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will worship with the Fundies


With their itchy hair-shirt undies


If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy,"


Then it's good enough for me!


 



Whether low church or it's high church


Or it's pie-up-in the sky-church


Come on down and visit my church


Cause it's good enough for me!


 


 


Some guys have a circumcision


On account of their religion,


An embarrassing incision


Cut just ENOUGH from me!


 



There are followers of Conan


And you'll never hear them groaning


Followed Crom up to his throne(an)


And they're good enough for me!


 


 


Here's to those who copy Conan


Here's to those who copy Conan


They're just Followers of Onan


and that's good enough for me!


 


 


Let us read works by Confucius


As we stroll through Massachusetts


In white robes that freeze our tushes


But it's good enough for me!


 


 


We used to study old Confucius


As we sat there on our tushes


well, we're learning but don't push us


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


There will be a lot of lovin


When we're gathered in our coven


Quit your pushin and your shovin


So there's room enough for me!


 


 


There are those who follow Crowley


Tho the stuff that he held holy


Turn your your brain to guacamole


But he's good enough for me!


 



Uncle Crowley was a dreamer


At the Abbey of Thelemer


But his magic is a screamer,


So it's good enough for me.


When the clouds they are a'rumbling


And the thunder is a'grumbling,


Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling,


And it's good enough for me!


 



We will all go worship Cthulhu


You and me and Mr. Sulu


Howling like some drunken Zulu


And it's good enough for me!


 


 


We will worship mighty Cthulhu


H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo


(1930's fiction voodoo....)


But that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will bow to Mighty Cthulhu


Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you


Or the Elder Gods will rule you!


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will worship Great Cthulhu,


We will worship Great Cthulhu,


And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu


'Cause that's good enough for me!


 


 


Let's go worship Great Cthulhu,


And run naked like a Zulu,


You and me and Mr. Sulu,


And that's good enough for me!


 



It was good enough for Cthulhu


Who'd eat me and who'd eat you, too


If it's good enough for Cthulhu


Then it's good enough for me!


 


 


And for those who follow Cthulhu


We have really got a lulu:


Drop a bomb on Honolulu!


Cause that's good enough for you!


We are all afraid of Cthugha


Who just came in down the flue(gha)


I hope that caviar's beluga


Or we'll all be toasty treats.


It was good enough for Cupid


It was good enough for Cupid


His wings look kind of stupid


But that's good enough for me!


 



Was a time, so I've heard tell, a


Fine and promising young fella


Gave his all to serve Cybele


But that's damn well not for me!


 


 


It was good enough for Dagon


That conservative old pagan


Who still votes for Ronald Reagan


And it's good enough for me!


 


 


We will all follow the Dao


And be smart like Chairman Mao


If we could only figure out how


It's be good enough for me.


Who will teach of love and honour


But your really gota wanna


Cuz she's tough enough for me


All the hunters start convergin'


When Diana is emergin'


It's too bad she's still a virgin


But there's still hope left for me!


 



Diana is a little spikey


And perhaps a little dikey


You don't have to be a Psyche


To know that's alright with me!


 


 


L. Ron Hubbard liked precision


And he founded a religion


That has caught a lot of pigeons


And it's good enough for me!


 


 


In matters Dianetic


You need not get frenetic


Make your Engrams copacetic


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


Well Dimuzi's on vacation


He'll be back when spring awakens


There will be such recreaction


There will be enough for me!


 


 


We all worshipped Dionysus


'Till we ran into a crisis -


The bar had raised its prices;


That's not good enough for me.


Let's all drink to Dionysus


Wine and women beyond prices!


He made a Maenad out of my Sis!


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


Let us dance with Dionysus


And get drunk on wine and spices


The Christians call them "vices"


But they're good enough for me!


 



Let us sing of Old Discordia


Cuz it's sure she's never bored ya


Turned the goddess's heads with flora


And she's good enough for me!


 


 


There are those who scream and hollar


And get hot under the collar


For their god, Almighty Dollar,


Who is good enough for me!


 



Let us worship like the druids


drinking strange fermented fluids


running naked through the wo-ads


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


Let us pray like the Egyptians


Build pyramids to put our crypts in


Fill our subways with inscriptions


Yes, it's good enough for me!


 


 


Let us call an Elemental


For a temporary rental


Just as long as it is gentle


It is good enough for me!


 



We all worship good ol' Elvis


Though he was kind of selfish


He could rock and grind his pelvis


and that's good enough for me!


 


 


We will all bow down to Enlil


We will all bow down to Enlil


Pass your cup and get a refill


From bold Gilgamest the brave!


Let us worship sweet Eninni


Let us worship sweet Eninni


In a skimpy string bikini


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


It was good enough for Eris


She's the Greek goddess of Chaos


And this verse doesn't rhyme or even really scan


But it's good enough for her!


It was good enough for Eris-


All her followers she's embarrras


and it's said she couldn't care less


So it's good enough for me!


 


 


We will sing a verse for Eris


Golden apples for the fairest


Though she sometimes likes to scare us


Still she's good enough for me!


 


 


Let us do our thing for Eris


Goddess of what discord there is


Apple's golden, it's not ferrous


And that's good enough for me.


The Evangelist Verses:


Brother Jerry is a cretin


But with all the cash he's gettin'


Lotsa folks will be forgettin


It's the "land of the free."


Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed


In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed


And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed


But that's good enough for me...


That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers


Fighting demons in his callers


Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS!


And it's good enough for me.


Brother Robert's church is Crystal


But all the Bible that he's missed'll


Make you "hotter than a pistol"


But he's good enough for me!


 


 


Brother Jim and Sister Tammy


Had a show that was a whammy


Now they are stuck in Miami


Trying to get back on TV.


Brother Oral's in his tower


Trusting in the Good Lord's power


Getting richer by the Hour


Now he's got his ransom fee.


Brother Earnest is a healer


And not quite a wheeler-dealer


More a jumper and a squealer


So he's good enough for me.


Then there's good old Brother Billy


Bringing souls in Willy-Nilly


All his trips are kinda silly


But he's good enough for me.


*********


We will gather at our saunas


When the spirit comes upon us


To perform the Rites of Faunus


And that's good enough for me!


 


 


Let us praise the Holy Fool


For he's breaking all the rules


Holds you up to ridicule,


And that's good enough for me!


 



We will worship Holy Ford


Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord


But the Alphas might get bored


A Brave New World for you and me!


 



We will sing of Foul the Render


Who's got Rockworm of a bender


in that cave at Kiril Threndor


And they're both two much for me.


In the halls of Frey and Freyja


All the priestesses will lay ya


If you're good enough, they'll pay ya!


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will worship now with vigor


The goddess known as Frigga


Tho there are some who don't dig her


She is good enough for me!


 


We will all bow down to Frith-Rah


Though he may be kind of miff-dah


(Hey, that ALMOST rhymes with Mithras)


And he's good enough for me!


 


Drink to FUFLUNS he's just fine


The Etruscan god of wine


This verse doesn't really rhyme


But it's good enough for me!


 


Let us worship mighty Gaea


Listen to what she has to say-a


She'll say, "take your trash away-a"


And that's good enough for me!


 


In the words of Gandalf Stormcrow


We find wisdom that we all know


when wizards war, away we go


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will go and sing "Hosanna"


To our good ol' pal, Gautama,


He will never flim or flam ya',


And that's good enough for me!


 


When old Gerald got it goin'


When old Gerald got it goin'


All that hidin' turned to showin'


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will revelate Glaaki


Though the spiny one is wacky


You might even say, he's ... tacky


But he's good enough for me!


 


We will all join in the chorus


Of the opera written for us


It's an opera about Boris


And he's godunov for me!


 


We will all bow down to Gozer


Priestess did it with that Joser


Cross the streams, and there she goes, sir!


And that's good enough for me!


 


It was good enough for Granny


She could throw a double-whammy


That would knock you on your fanny


And she's good enough for me!


 


Some folks pray to the Great Spirit


Most folks just cannot get near it


So they hate it and they fear it


But it's good enough for me!



Oh, our Spirits will awaken


Oh, our Spirits will awaken


Watch the Universe a-quakin'


Which is Gurdijeff to me!


 


There is room enough in Hades


For lots of criminals and shadies


Disreputable ladies


And they're good enough for me!


 


We will all sing Hari Krishna


Shave our heads and hold out dish(na)


It's not mentioned in the Mishna


But it's good enough for me!


 


Hare Krishna gets a laugh on


When he sees me dressed in Saffron


With my hair that's only half on


Still, it's good enough for me.


I was singing Hare Rama


With my friend the Dalai Lama


'Til they threw us in the slamma


But it's good enough for me!


 


Of the Old Ones, none is vaster


Even Cthulhu's not his master


I refer to the unspeakable---------------*


And he's good enough for me!


 


* (do YOU want to say it?)


Well it's good enough for H*****


He's a mighty kinky master


When you pray he goes much faster


And that's good enough for me!



There are those who, when they've got e-


Normous problems that are knotty


They just take them to Hecate


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will all bow to Hephaestus


As a blacksmith he will test us


For his balls are pure asbestos


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will venerate old Hermes


With his staff entwined with wormies


Warding off the nasty germies


And that's good enough for me!



I like old Hewlett-Packard


Whose old software can be hackered


And their printer's been all lacquered


And they're good enough for me.


 


In Japan they thought it neato


When they worshipped Hirohito


But that didn't sit with SEATO


So it never more will be!


Let us sing the praise of Horus


As our fathers did before us


We're the New Egyptian Chorus


And we sing in harmony!


 


We will all do praise to Horus


In an old Egyptian chorus


If there's something in it for us


Then it's good enough for me!



Here's an invitation for us


All to go and worship Horus


Doff your clothes and join the chorus


And that's good enough for me!


 


Let us note the might of Ils


With a thousand or more quills


By the light that from him spills


He is good enough for me!



We will sing of Iluvatur


Brought the Valar 'cross the water


To lead Morgoth to the Slaughter


And that's good enough for me!


 


It was good enough for Isis


Who would help you through a crisis


And she's never raised her prices


So she's good enough for me!


 


It was good for old Jehova


Had a son who was a nova-


Hey there, Mithras, move on ova-


you're not good enough no more!


 


Let us celebrate Jehovah


Who created us \ab/ \ova/


He'll be on tonight on Nova


And he's good enough for me!


 


Let us worship this Jehovah


All you other gods move ovah


Cuz the One God's taking over


That sounds awful dull to me!


 


You could join Jehovah's Witness


Running door to door for fitness


Well, if you've been blessed with quickness


Then that's good enough for me!


 


We will sing of Jug of Issek


And of Fahfhrd his chief mystic


But to thieving, Mouser will stick


So he's good enough for me!


 


We will read from the Kabahlah


We will read from the Kabahlah


It won't get us to Valhalla


but it's good enough for me!


 


Some folks worship the Kachinas


Some folks worship the Kachinas


They look like "deus ex machinas",


But they're good enough for me!


 


Let us all watch Ka.ka.pa.ull


Frolic in her swimming pool


Subjecting chaos to her rule


Well then that's all right with me.


 


We will go to worship Kali


She will help us in our folly


She'd be quite an armful, Golly!


But she's good enough for me!


 


As the goddess Kali dances


With her worshippers in trances


You can learn some Hindu stances


And that's good enough for me!



It was good enough for Kali


Who just slew 'em down in Bali


Though you'd never call her cuddly


Still she's good enough for me.


 


There are some that call it folly


When we worship Mother Kali.


She may not be very jolly


But she's good enough for me.


 


Timmy Leary we will sing to


And the things that he was into


Well, at least it wasn't Shinto


And that's good enough for me!


 


Here's a canticle for Liebowitz


That old Jew, up there he sitz.


There just ain't that many rhymes that fitz.


But he's good enough for me.


 


We will got to worship Lillith


Grab your cup, step up and fill it


Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it!


And that's good eonough for me!



I'll thing some things to Lillith


Not so young, and not so girlith


and the's alwayth PMS-ith


but the's good enough for me!


 


(In case you can't tell, this is supposed to be a lithp.)


 


Lillith wears a lacy nightie


And she is a little flighty


She will get you all excite-y


but she's good enough for me!


 


(Alternate last line: She's wet dream enough for me!)


 


It was good enough for Loki


It was good enough for Loki


He think's Thor's a little Hokey


And that's good enough for me!


 


All the Gods tore into Loki


Saying Deicide is hokey!


And they threw him in the pokey!


And that's good enough for me!



It was good enough for Loki


Who is the god of Chaos


And this verse doesn't rhyme or scan


Fuck you! It's good enough for me!


 


Shall we sing in praise of Loki,


Though he left poor Midgard smokey?


Oh, his sense of humor's hokey,


But he's good enough for me.


 


Now watch out for the Maya's,


They might really try to fry ya,


Sacrifice people not papaya's,


Just as long as its not me!


 


I can't rhyme Ahura Mazda,


And I'll praise the man who tries ta,


Then I'll wait for Barak Raz ta,


And that's good enough for me!



I pray to Ahura-Mazda


He's one god who sure won't pause ta


Pound some heads when given cause ta


Which is good enough for me!



We will all be saved by Mithras


We will all be saved by Mithras


Slay the bull and play the zithras


On that resurrection day!


 


We will sing a song for Mithras!


Let us sing in praise of Mithras!


But there is no rhyme for Mithras!


Still, he's good enough for me!


 


If you think that you'll be sa-ved


If you think that you'll be sa-ved


If you follow Mogan David


You're not good enough for me


 


Montezuma used to start out


Rites by carving a part out


He could really tear yer heart out-


still it's good enough for me!


 


(Montezuma used to start out-


He would rip a certain part out


You would really eat your heart out


And he's good enough for me)


 


It was good enough for Morrigan


Who will never be called a bore again


For she is the Battle Raven


And it's good enough for me.


 


Of Great Murphy much is spoken


For his Law shall not be Broken


It's not pretty when he's woken


things go wrong for you and me.


 


Well, she raised an awful flurry


When she made the scholars worry


Thank the Gods for Margaret Murray!


She is good enough for me!



Some folks worship all of Nature


Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher


They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher


And they're good enough for me!



Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus


From herself the Earth did birth us


And I wonder: are we worth us?


But she's good enough for me!


 


We will all go to Nirvana


so be sure to mind your manners


Take a left turn at Savannah


And we'll see the Promised Land


 


(We will all go to Nirvana


We will all go to Nirvana


make a left turn at Urbana


And you'll see the Promised Land!)


 


Where's the gong gang, I can't find it.


I think Northwoods is behind it


For they are so cymbal minded


Yet they're good enough for me.


 


When we all bowed down to Nuit


There was really nothin' to it


(Alex Sanders made me do it...)


But that's good enough for me!


 


If you follow Numerology


You must believe the truth will set you free


Take some numbers that appeal to thee


And then multiply by three


 


We will call on Nyarlathotep


That black dude with all the makeup


Do you dare to let his name drop?


Still, he's good enough for me!


 


It was good enough for Odin


Though that croakin was forebodin'


till at last the Giants rolled in


Still it's good enough for me!


 


One-eyed Odin we will follow


And in fighting we will wallow


Till we wind up in Valhallow


Which is good enough for me!


 


It was good enough for Odin


Though the tremblin' got forbodin'


Then the giants finally strode in,


But it's good enough for me.


 


If you wanna worship Odin


You don't have to have a coat on


Grab a sword and slap some woad on


And that's good enough for me!



Some folks pray to the Orishas


Tho their humor can be vishas


When they grant your stupid wishas


But they're good enough for me!


 


We will sing now of Organians


With their giant psychic brainians


If they'd just fix those Iranians


They'd be good enough for me.


 


At the dancing Pan will gloat


And to yells give lusty throat-


He could really get your... er... goat


But he's good enough for me!


 


And to help things get real racous


The priests of Pan and Bacchus


Will hold a f***ing contest!


And that's all right with me!


 


In his dancing Pan will lead them


When his pipes call we will heed them


In truth tho, he don't need them


He's more than enough for me!



Pan's pipes got plugged last summer


And it really was a bummer


Finally had to call a plumber!


But he's good enough for me!


 


It could be that you're a Parsi


It could be that you're a Parsi


Walk on by her- you'll get in free


And you're good enough for me!


 


It could be that you're a Parsi


It could be that you're a Parsi


Don't need a ticket; you get in free


And that's good enough for me!


 


And let's not forget Pelagius


Though some call him outrageous


He is pious and courageous


And he's good enough for me.


 


If you get too tired


And you need to get up higher


Just have Pele light your fire!


From her island in the sea!


 


I have got a strange religion:


I will worship Walter Pidgeon


Is he sacred? Just a smidgen-


But he's good enough for me!


 


Praise to Popacatapetl


Just on little cigarette'll


Put him in terrific fettle


And he's good enough for me!


 


We will worship with Poseidon


We will meet him when the tide's in


All the maidens he will ride in


Then he'll give 'em all to me!



There's that lusty old Priapus


He's just itching to unwrap us.


He'd do more to us than tap us


And that's good enough for me!


 


In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome


But he's not at home too often


Spends all his time in Annwyfn


And that's good enough for me!



We will all read from Quabballah


Quote the tree of life mandala


It won't get you in Valhalla


But it's good enough for me!


 


Thanks to great Quetzacoatl


And his sacred axolotl


And his gift of chocolatl


And please pass some down to me!


 


Quetzacoatl's flyin'


With the Toltec and the Mayan


And the mushrooms he's been buyin'


Are good enough for me!



And when old Quetzelcouatl


Found a virgin he could throttle


And put her heart into a bottle


It was good enough for me.


 


Let us all now worship Ra


And take care of our Ka


We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!"


Which is good enough for me!


 


We will sing a song of Ra


He's the god without a flaw


If his humour's rather raw,


Still he's good enough for me!


 


It's not good enough for Reagan


It's not good enough for Reagan


He's too square to be a Pagan!


And that's good enough for me!


 


Well, I am tired of Ronald Reagan


He's too Square to be a Pagan:


Let's all go vote for Carl Sagan-


He is good enough for me!


 


We will sing a verse for Rhiannon


Who the Celts had had a handle on


When she took their kilted men on


And she's good enough for me!


 


When you worship Rusto


Treat your friends with lust-o


Pursue your faith with gusto!


And that's good enough for me!



It was good enough for Sappho


With her lady on her lap-o


She put Lesbos on the map-o


With her pagan poetry!


 


There are those who worship Satan


And are just anticipatin'


Armageddon's conflagratin'


That ain't good enough for me!


 


Of Lord Shardik you must beware


And to please him you must swear


Because when pissed off he's a real bear


So that's good enough for me!


 


If you come to practice Shinto


Make sure you know what they are into


You must praise each rock and lentil


But they're good enough for me!


 


There are some who practice Shinto


there are some who practice Shinto


there's no telling what WE'RE into!


but that's good enough for me!


 


I don't really go for Shinto


It's just something I'm not into


Tho I guess I could begin to


'Cause it's good enough for me!


 


Let us sing of Michael Valentine


That old Martian Smith is mighty fine-


He's a stranger in a strange land: Mine!


But he's good enough for me.


 


If your god of choice is Squat


Well, the, trendy, man, you're not


But you'll get a parking spot!


And that's good enough for me.


 


(Squat is apparently a local god related to the God of Alleyways)


 


I'll arise at early mornin'


When the Sun gives me the warnin'


That the Solar Age is Dawnin'


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will worship Sun Myung Moon


Though we know he is goon


All our money he'll have soon


So he's good enough for me!


 


we will go to practice Tantra


Don't forget to say your mantra


You don't need to wear no pants, nah-


and that's good enough for me!


 


We will go down to the temple


Sit on mats woven of hemple


try to set a good exemple-


Oh, it's good enough for me!


 


It was good for Thor and Odin


Grab an axe and get your wode on


With the Giants on the rode in


You'll be good enough for me!


 


Good old Thor's the god of thunder


Really helps us get our plunder


Tho his head's still truly dunder


He is good enough for me!


 


Shall we sing a verse for Thor,


Though he leaves the maidens sore?


They always come back for more,


So he's good enough for me!


 


You can dance and wave the thyrsos


And sing lots of rowdy verses


Till the neighbours holler curses


You'll be good enough for me!


 


It was good enough for Tiamat


Down in Babylon where she was at


Although her chest was kinda flat


She was still the dragon in the Sea.


 


In the sky I hear a hummin'


It's the UFO's a-comin'


That's not banjos that they're strummin'


But it's good enough for me!


 


We will ride up to Valhalla


driving Beetles not Impalas


Singing Deutschland Uber Alles


And that's good enough for me!


 


I hear Valkyries a-coming


In the air their song is thrumming


They forgot the words- they're humming


But they're good enough for me!


 


They revered ancient ENIAC


And sacrificed to UNIVAC


Now we sing our chants on VAX pack


And that's good enough for me!



We will go to worship Venus


Though we hear she's kind of mean(us)


she might bite you on the -- elbow


But she's good enough for Me!


 


Well, we went to worship Venus


And you know, you should have seen us


Cuz the clinic had to screen us


But she's good enough for me!


 


Well, we went to worship Venus,


By the Gods! You should have seen us!


And the clinic had to screen us...


Still, she's good enough for me.


 


We will all bow down to Venus


As we dance upon Mt Zenos


We will worship with our....voice


And that's good enough for me!


 


It was good enough for Venus


She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us


Letting morals come between us


And she's good enough for me!



We will sing our staves to Venus


We will sing our staves to Venus


Tho I think this rhyme is henious


But it's good enough for me!


 


Shall we sing a verse for Venus,


Of the Gods she is the meanest,


Cause she bit me on my...elbow


And that's good enough for me.


 


There are people into voodoo


Africa has raised a whodoo


Just a little doll'll do you


And that's good enough for me!


 


There are people into Voodoo


there are people into Voodoo


I know I do, I hope you do!


and it's good enough for me!


 


If you're really into dancing


And you wanna try some trancing


Then the Voodoo gods are prancing


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will all go down to Waco


learn religion from that flako


then be broiled to use for tacos-


That's not good enough for me!


 


Meeting at the Witching Hour


By the Bud, and Branch and Flower


Folks are raising up the Power


And that's where I want to be!


 


We will worship with the witches


Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches


And they scratch us where it itches


And that's good enough for me!


 


With the aid of my athame


I can throw a "double-whammy"


(Also slice and dice salami)


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will worship Xipe-totec


Though it is a little lo-tech


It is not a bit ero-tec


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will worship Xochipilli


Though it seems a little silly


Running naked makes me chilly


But it's good enough for me!


 


We will sacrifice to Yuggoth


Carve the signs of Aza-thoth


Burn a candle for Yog-Sothoth


And the Goat with a Thousand Young


 


Let us pray to Zarathustra


Let us pray just like we useta


I'm a Zarathustra Boosta


And he's good enough for me!


 


We will worship like Zen Druids


In their non-existant wooids


Don't try to think, just Dooid


And it's good enough for me!


 


Zen Druids all believe now


In a nenexistant tree, wow!


And their sects are all a scream gal,


so they're good enough for me!


 


We will pray to father Zeus


In his temple we'll hang loose


And we'll dine on beef au jus


So he's good enough for me!


 


Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus'


Tho he's lost his vital juices


The old boy still has his uses


And he's good enough for me!


 


There's one thing that I do know


Zeus' favorite is Juno


She's the best at doing...you know!


And that's good enough for me!


 


We will go to worship Zeus


Though his morals are quite loose


He gave Leda Quite a goose!


But he's good enough for me.


 


Now, Danae was sweet as flowers


She was into golden showers


And that showed her Zeus' powers


So it's good enough for me!


 


It was good enough for Zoaster


That peacock proud old boaster


Who could light up like a toaster


And it's good enough for me!


 


The late return of the Prophet Zarquon


Caused his followers to hearken


As the Universe went dark on


All of you and me!


 


Let us pray to the Great Spirit


Let us pray to the Great Spirit


Like the Thunderbird He'll hear us


And It's good enough for me.


 


Give thanks to the Earth our Mother


Give thanks to the Earth our Mother


She'll care for us like no other


And she's good enough for me.


 


Let us join the Earth Spirits


Let us join the Earth Spirits


With the Earth they will heal us


And its good enough for me.


 


Let us shout to the Goddess Lum


Let us shout to the Princess Lum


Fro another world she's come


And shes good for An-a-me.


 


Hail to Regan and to Sagan


Hail to Regan and to Sagan


I'm a San Diagan Pagan


And it's good enough for me.


 


Let us question Deep Thought too


Let us question Deep Thought too


The answer's Forty-Two


And it's good enough for me.


 


Let us look for the Invisible Man


Let us look for the Invisible Man


And see him if we can


And he's good enough for me.


 


Let us all use the Force


Let us all use the Force


And stay on the proper course


But it's good enough for me.


 


Let us pray to the Great Spirit


Let us pray to the Great Spirit


Like the Eagle he will hear us


And it's good enough for me.


 


Let us pray to the Virgin Mary


Let us pray to the Virgin Mary


As our Rosary we carry


And she's good enough for me.


 


Let us journey like the Shaman


Let us journey like the Shaman


To the next de-men-shan


And it's good enough for me.


 


Let us huumm for the Great Pumpkin


Hum hm huumm hum hum huumm humhumn


From the pumpkin patch he'll come


And it's good enough for me.


 


Let us praise the Almighty Dollar


Let us praise the Almighty Dollar


Tele-Evangelistic hollar


And it's good enough for me.


 


Let us praise the Babel Fish


Let us praise the Babel Fish


For it made God but a wish


But it's good enough for me.


 


Let us all sing for the Dryad


Let us all sing for the Dryad


For Bulldozers make them mad


But they're good enough for me.


 


--30--





Feel free to comment with any I don't have listed. I'll add 'em to the collection; maybe we'll make it an annual tradition.
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