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bear by san

December 2021

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bear by san

Darth Continent



[20:36] matociquala: I understand the logic behind the first three Star Wars movies, thoug hI suspect Lucas doesn't *g*
[20:36] katallen: ::listens::
[20:37] matociquala: See, you're Bail Organa and Obi Wan Kenobi, and you've just got your asses handed you by the dark lord upon his dark throne, and whiner-boy, your former apprentice.
[20:37] matociquala: But.
[20:37] matociquala: You happen to have his pregnant wife in your back pocket.
[20:38] matociquala: and you're out of Jedi, but you know her offspring will have the potential.
[20:38] matociquala: And you 'spect the bad guys will want to collect.
[20:38] matociquala: And you know something Vader doesn't know.
[20:38] makeshiftdaisy: he's not a whiner!
[20:38] matociquala: There are two kids.
[20:38] makeshiftdaisy: oh, the dad.
[20:38] makeshiftdaisy: yeah, whiner.
[20:39] darthrabe: Mek...in Episode II...definite whiner...
[20:39] stillsostrange: scary date-rapist whiner
[20:39] makeshiftdaisy: the force compels me to defend my Luke.
[20:39] matociquala: So. Being smarter than the Dark Lord, and no longer crippled by the little green idiot's pronouncements
[20:39] makeshiftdaisy: even when not necessary.
[20:39] matociquala: You go, huh.
[20:39] darthrabe: how Obi-Won ever found the patience not to Force bitchslap some backbone into the kid, I'll NEVER know!
[20:39] matociquala: Okay, so Anakin, he's arrogant, and stupid, and way too powerful.
[20:40] matociquala: So we take the son, and we name him something Skywalker, and we stick him back on Anakin's home planet.
[20:40] matociquala: I mean, can you say bait?
[20:40] stillnotbored: yeah
[20:40] stillnotbored: you're right
[20:40] matociquala: 'Cause you know, he's an arrogant patriarchal twit, of course he'd assume it was a son.
[20:40] stillsostrange: heh
[20:41] matociquala: And here's Kenobi, sitting there behind the duck blind with a shotgun.
[20:41] matociquala: And Vader never shows.
[20:41] cpolk: ...
[20:41] katallen: ::grins::
[20:41] matociquala: Meanwhile, Bail Organa is off raising the daughter to reconquer the galaxy.
[20:41] matociquala: It's brilliant.
[20:41] stillnotbored: it is
[20:42] cpolk: that's awesome.
[20:42] cpolk: and you're right.
[20:42] matociquala: If only those darn sith lords had read the script.
[20:42] stillnotbored: and he never does enough with it
[20:42] katallen: (you mended a bit of it!)
[20:42] matociquala: I don't think Lucas knew what he'd set up *g*
[20:42] stillnotbored: no, he didn't
[20:42] stillnotbored: but that is exactly what he did
[20:42] stillsostrange: hee
[20:43] katallen: ::nods::
[20:43] stillsostrange: Bear, can I copy this?
[20:43] matociquala: anyway, I figure I can file the serial numbers off that and set something like that up with Vincent and his sister.
[20:43] stillsostrange: oooh, shiny
[20:43] matociquala: *g*
[20:43] stillnotbored: excellent
[20:43] katallen: oh boy
[20:43] katallen: heee
[20:43] matociquala: Where do you want to copy it to?
[20:43] stillsostrange: email it to Steven
[20:43] matociquala: Sure.
[20:43] matociquala: Much of it is kit_kindred's.
[20:44] matociquala: It was a collective effort. *g*
[20:44] matociquala: kit_kindred, my husband, not Kit my character
[20:44] stillnotbored: I got that *g*
[20:44] katallen: ::grins::
[20:44] matociquala: You gotta figure they thought it was the perfect trap.
[20:45] stillnotbored: when does the movie open?
[20:45] katallen: yes
[20:45] matociquala: Although if Luke ever HAD gotten his application off to the Imperial academy, it probably would have sprung.
[20:45] stillnotbored: because I will look at it in a whole new way now
[20:45] matociquala: and not in a good way, because then they just would have had to wait for him to come to them.
[20:45] matociquala: It opens at midnight tomorrow
[20:45] stillnotbored: cool
[20:45] stillnotbored: I can see it before I leave
[20:46] matociquala: *g*
[20:46] stillsostrange: We'll see it this weekend
[20:47] matociquala: I will be at the midnight mass.
[20:47] matociquala: I am sad that way *g*
[20:52] matociquala: Oh god, time for another round of the Sith Lord Name Game
[20:53] matociquala: Darth Corrigible
[20:53] darthrabe: I know...where the hell did "maul" come from?
[20:54] darthrabe: (in)sidious (in)vader (in)maul? It's like playing the "one of these things is different game" and it's quite annoying!
[20:54] matociquala: well, some of them are just nasty words.
[20:54] matociquala: So you could have like, Darth Mutilate, too
[20:54] katallen: (at least Darth Killer isn't in yet)
[20:54] stillsostrange: Darth Meany
[20:54] stillsostrange: Darth Whiny Stalker
[20:55] darthrabe: Darth Tyranus? BAH! What's next, Darth Spect?
[20:55] katallen: Darth Concievable
[20:55] darthrabe: At least it would fit the naming convention...
[20:55] darthrabe: HA!!!
[20:56] darthrabe: I see it now..."I'm Luke Skywalker, you killed my father, be prepared to die!"
[20:57] jmeadows: Hello, my name is Luke Skywalker. You killed my father. Prepare to die!
[20:57] stillsostrange: heeeeee
[20:57] stillnotbored: heh
[20:57] matociquala: Darth Fabio
[20:57] matociquala: Hey, I find him scary
[20:57] stillsostrange: he is, he is
[20:58] matociquala: Darth Continent
[20:58] stillsostrange: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
[20:58] darthrabe: Vader: "What? Again? What makes you think a snotnosed punk like YOU could defeat me? I took on OBI WON twice and beat him TWICE! ...
[20:58] darthrabe: ... I destroyed an entire TEMPLE of Jedi! I slaughted a village of Tuscan raiders. The last thing *I'M* afraid of is some punk with delusions of GRANDUER! Oh, and just to really mess with you. I AM your FATHER! Take that!"
[20:59] matociquala: The six-fingered Sith
[20:59] matociquala: say that three times fast

Comments

how Obi-Won ever found the patience not to Force bitchslap some backbone into the kid, I'll NEVER know!

*dies laughing*
really. wouldn't it be fine?
And here's Kenobi, sitting there behind the duck blind with a shotgun.
Heh. I like it.
Ben's to smart not to have had a plan. *g*
too, to.
Wait long enough and that might become Darth Incontinent.
I had assumed that the Sith were named after wood-working tools, and somewhere out there were Darth Saw and Darth Adze.
Darth Plane, Darth Half-Round Rasp, Darth Cold Chisel...
And now, you've passed the scarring on.
If I had a Sith name it'd be Darth Vert.

...Leia saves the Galaxy. Hurrah!
As well she should, really. She was pretty butch.
...Darth Vert just sank in. *g*
Ha!

I like your plot better than what Lucas thought of (or didn't).

And I bet you would have found some way to excise "midiclorians" from the
canon ;)
*g* Media SFF rarely survives contact with writers, I find. *g*
You should listen to this. :)
That's....

a thing of beauty.
I think on some level, I always knew Leia was the One. She had better Underoos.
Not to mention, she didn't wear any.

---L.
Or rather, to mention it.

She did have duct tape, though. The futuristic Frog Bra!
We don't talk about how paralipsis my favorite trope. That would be too obvious.

---L, darth pantyraid.
Really, something about the Amidala/Anakin outcross produced much more interesting children.
Freaking brilliant. I love it. And it's so much better than Darth Lucas' plot.

Love,

Darth Menstrual
*g* Well, if I sell CARNIVAL, I need a sequel. And I have got the poor guy saddled with the annoying Destiny.

I could blame it all on his mom.
That's nifty. Really nifty.