bear by san

December 2021



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bear by san

Darth Continent

[20:36] matociquala: I understand the logic behind the first three Star Wars movies, thoug hI suspect Lucas doesn't *g*
[20:36] katallen: ::listens::
[20:37] matociquala: See, you're Bail Organa and Obi Wan Kenobi, and you've just got your asses handed you by the dark lord upon his dark throne, and whiner-boy, your former apprentice.
[20:37] matociquala: But.
[20:37] matociquala: You happen to have his pregnant wife in your back pocket.
[20:38] matociquala: and you're out of Jedi, but you know her offspring will have the potential.
[20:38] matociquala: And you 'spect the bad guys will want to collect.
[20:38] matociquala: And you know something Vader doesn't know.
[20:38] makeshiftdaisy: he's not a whiner!
[20:38] matociquala: There are two kids.
[20:38] makeshiftdaisy: oh, the dad.
[20:38] makeshiftdaisy: yeah, whiner.
[20:39] darthrabe: Mek...in Episode II...definite whiner...
[20:39] stillsostrange: scary date-rapist whiner
[20:39] makeshiftdaisy: the force compels me to defend my Luke.
[20:39] matociquala: So. Being smarter than the Dark Lord, and no longer crippled by the little green idiot's pronouncements
[20:39] makeshiftdaisy: even when not necessary.
[20:39] matociquala: You go, huh.
[20:39] darthrabe: how Obi-Won ever found the patience not to Force bitchslap some backbone into the kid, I'll NEVER know!
[20:39] matociquala: Okay, so Anakin, he's arrogant, and stupid, and way too powerful.
[20:40] matociquala: So we take the son, and we name him something Skywalker, and we stick him back on Anakin's home planet.
[20:40] matociquala: I mean, can you say bait?
[20:40] stillnotbored: yeah
[20:40] stillnotbored: you're right
[20:40] matociquala: 'Cause you know, he's an arrogant patriarchal twit, of course he'd assume it was a son.
[20:40] stillsostrange: heh
[20:41] matociquala: And here's Kenobi, sitting there behind the duck blind with a shotgun.
[20:41] matociquala: And Vader never shows.
[20:41] cpolk: ...
[20:41] katallen: ::grins::
[20:41] matociquala: Meanwhile, Bail Organa is off raising the daughter to reconquer the galaxy.
[20:41] matociquala: It's brilliant.
[20:41] stillnotbored: it is
[20:42] cpolk: that's awesome.
[20:42] cpolk: and you're right.
[20:42] matociquala: If only those darn sith lords had read the script.
[20:42] stillnotbored: and he never does enough with it
[20:42] katallen: (you mended a bit of it!)
[20:42] matociquala: I don't think Lucas knew what he'd set up *g*
[20:42] stillnotbored: no, he didn't
[20:42] stillnotbored: but that is exactly what he did
[20:42] stillsostrange: hee
[20:43] katallen: ::nods::
[20:43] stillsostrange: Bear, can I copy this?
[20:43] matociquala: anyway, I figure I can file the serial numbers off that and set something like that up with Vincent and his sister.
[20:43] stillsostrange: oooh, shiny
[20:43] matociquala: *g*
[20:43] stillnotbored: excellent
[20:43] katallen: oh boy
[20:43] katallen: heee
[20:43] matociquala: Where do you want to copy it to?
[20:43] stillsostrange: email it to Steven
[20:43] matociquala: Sure.
[20:43] matociquala: Much of it is kit_kindred's.
[20:44] matociquala: It was a collective effort. *g*
[20:44] matociquala: kit_kindred, my husband, not Kit my character
[20:44] stillnotbored: I got that *g*
[20:44] katallen: ::grins::
[20:44] matociquala: You gotta figure they thought it was the perfect trap.
[20:45] stillnotbored: when does the movie open?
[20:45] katallen: yes
[20:45] matociquala: Although if Luke ever HAD gotten his application off to the Imperial academy, it probably would have sprung.
[20:45] stillnotbored: because I will look at it in a whole new way now
[20:45] matociquala: and not in a good way, because then they just would have had to wait for him to come to them.
[20:45] matociquala: It opens at midnight tomorrow
[20:45] stillnotbored: cool
[20:45] stillnotbored: I can see it before I leave
[20:46] matociquala: *g*
[20:46] stillsostrange: We'll see it this weekend
[20:47] matociquala: I will be at the midnight mass.
[20:47] matociquala: I am sad that way *g*
[20:52] matociquala: Oh god, time for another round of the Sith Lord Name Game
[20:53] matociquala: Darth Corrigible
[20:53] darthrabe: I know...where the hell did "maul" come from?
[20:54] darthrabe: (in)sidious (in)vader (in)maul? It's like playing the "one of these things is different game" and it's quite annoying!
[20:54] matociquala: well, some of them are just nasty words.
[20:54] matociquala: So you could have like, Darth Mutilate, too
[20:54] katallen: (at least Darth Killer isn't in yet)
[20:54] stillsostrange: Darth Meany
[20:54] stillsostrange: Darth Whiny Stalker
[20:55] darthrabe: Darth Tyranus? BAH! What's next, Darth Spect?
[20:55] katallen: Darth Concievable
[20:55] darthrabe: At least it would fit the naming convention...
[20:55] darthrabe: HA!!!
[20:56] darthrabe: I see it now..."I'm Luke Skywalker, you killed my father, be prepared to die!"
[20:57] jmeadows: Hello, my name is Luke Skywalker. You killed my father. Prepare to die!
[20:57] stillsostrange: heeeeee
[20:57] stillnotbored: heh
[20:57] matociquala: Darth Fabio
[20:57] matociquala: Hey, I find him scary
[20:57] stillsostrange: he is, he is
[20:58] matociquala: Darth Continent
[20:58] stillsostrange: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
[20:58] darthrabe: Vader: "What? Again? What makes you think a snotnosed punk like YOU could defeat me? I took on OBI WON twice and beat him TWICE! ...
[20:58] darthrabe: ... I destroyed an entire TEMPLE of Jedi! I slaughted a village of Tuscan raiders. The last thing *I'M* afraid of is some punk with delusions of GRANDUER! Oh, and just to really mess with you. I AM your FATHER! Take that!"
[20:59] matociquala: The six-fingered Sith
[20:59] matociquala: say that three times fast


how Obi-Won ever found the patience not to Force bitchslap some backbone into the kid, I'll NEVER know!

*dies laughing*
really. wouldn't it be fine?
And here's Kenobi, sitting there behind the duck blind with a shotgun.
Heh. I like it.
Ben's to smart not to have had a plan. *g*
too, to.
Wait long enough and that might become Darth Incontinent.
I had assumed that the Sith were named after wood-working tools, and somewhere out there were Darth Saw and Darth Adze.
Darth Plane, Darth Half-Round Rasp, Darth Cold Chisel...
And now, you've passed the scarring on.
If I had a Sith name it'd be Darth Vert.

...Leia saves the Galaxy. Hurrah!
As well she should, really. She was pretty butch.
...Darth Vert just sank in. *g*

I like your plot better than what Lucas thought of (or didn't).

And I bet you would have found some way to excise "midiclorians" from the
canon ;)
*g* Media SFF rarely survives contact with writers, I find. *g*
You should listen to this. :)

a thing of beauty.
I think on some level, I always knew Leia was the One. She had better Underoos.
Not to mention, she didn't wear any.

Or rather, to mention it.

She did have duct tape, though. The futuristic Frog Bra!
We don't talk about how paralipsis my favorite trope. That would be too obvious.

---L, darth pantyraid.
Really, something about the Amidala/Anakin outcross produced much more interesting children.
Freaking brilliant. I love it. And it's so much better than Darth Lucas' plot.


Darth Menstrual
*g* Well, if I sell CARNIVAL, I need a sequel. And I have got the poor guy saddled with the annoying Destiny.

I could blame it all on his mom.
That's nifty. Really nifty.