We now return you to your regularly scheduled whining about the Carnival revision.
This is going entirely too smoothly. Either I am blind to this book's (possibly many) flaws, or it's actually not a bad book. I am nervous I'm not finding more to fix, other than doing things like supporting the ending at the beginning, which of course I *always* have to do--my drafts evolve in production.
I got through chapter 5 last night, and despite having added eight pages in one scene, I've gotten five pages total out of the book (it stands at 458; it needs to be 440, and I still have stuff I know I need to add). Some of that is the result of absolutely ruthless cutting (Oh, look, pretty paragraph. Unfortunately, it's in Vincent's POV and sounds like Angelo. Out! Out, damned spot!).
Some of it, however, is because I was doing rather a lot of thrashing early on, and this reflects in convenient paragraphs of the characters standing about waffling, which can be excised like the excrescences they are, and the edges stitched up neatly, leaving an invisible scar. There's one scene I'm thinking about cutting, but really, it does a ton of worldbuilding and character work, even if it's not, in particular, advancing the plot all that much.
I've decided not to muck with the narrative voice. It's strong enough that I think all I'd manage is bolting things to its neck and covering it in stitch marks, and that's no good to anybody.
Angelo has developed an annoying verbal tic. If you don't like it, it's stillsostrange's fault. If you do like it,
Shower, and tea, and onward into the trenches.