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bear by san

March 2017



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ascii frog by Jean Seok

Viva les girl cooties.

Page 275. More girl cooties. Character A is musing on his screwed up relationship with character B. Kimball Kinnison never had these kinds of problems.

I could take all the relationship crap, introspection, and romance subplots out of my books, and be taken more seriously as a writer. But then again, if D. H. Lawrence can get away with it, maybe it would be easier to change my name to Ebenezer. Because men writing love stories is literature. Women writing love stories is girl germs.

On the other hand, women buy a hell of a lot more fiction than men.

Speaking of love stories, and girlcooties, I was reminded last night of how much I love Edward Bryant's Nebula-nominated 1973 short story "Shark."

Oh yeah. "We'll probably use your old body to feed the new one."

Another writer would take a whole goddamned story to do the character development that Bryant does by implication in that one sentence.

Damn, that's a hell of a story.

And, because I caught truepenny's insomnia and I've been up since 5 am,

Seven Things to Do Before I Die

(1) Travel more

(2) Hike the Appalachian Trail

(3) Finish the goddamned book

(4) Coin a neologism that enters the lexicon

(5) Generate some Literary Remains

(6) Witness a sunrise from space

(7) Calculate pi (What can I say? I'm in no hurry for death.)


Seven Things I Cannot Do

(1) Live with other people very well

(2) Suffer fools gladly

(3) A headstand

(4) A split (not even when I was eight.)

(5) Kill people with my brain (and not for lack of trying.)

(6) Like Babylon 5 or any anime, no matter how many times you tell me I'm a crackhead for finding it unwatchable, so just stop, already.

(7) Get out from under this cat for more than about ten minutes at a time

Seven things that Attract Me to People

(1) Freckles (red hair is nice too, but I also like brunettes. Which is why I have dated so many blond(e)s, of course)

(2) Verbal and intellectual facility. Snark. Sharpness. Braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins.

(3) Interesting Noses and Chins and Cheekbones (mmm, Claudia Black... I'm sorry, where were we?)

(4) A wicked grin

(5) Generosity of spirit, and by that I don't mean giving me presents.

(6) Independence

(7) It helps if they're really, really bad for me. I'm all over it, baby.

Seven Things I say Most Often

(1) "We hate dogs. Yes we do. Who hates dogs? We hate dogs. Hate hate hate." (Accompanied by vigorous pounding on and thumping of and wrassling with the dog in question, and possibly some ear-rubbing, too.) We also hate cats, but not as often or as vocally

(2) "Get out of my kitchen! Go lie down! Git git git!" (to the dog) or "CATS! Gerroff!" (which is the all-purpose Bad Cat noise around here, sometimes extended to "Gerroff the table/sink/my head/Kit's head/the dog's head! Gerroff!")

(3) "Oh, for the love of Mike." (or) "Oh, fuck this noise." (or) "Fuck this for a lark."

(4) "You know, there's a funny story about that--"

(5) "In other news--"

(6) "Meanwhile, back in Bendal Dolum--" (Yes, I still do this, Glastonbonians. God help me.)

(7) "Get a helmet." (which is all ladegard's fault.)

Seven Books or Series or Authors I Love

(1) Richard Adams, Watership Down

(2) Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn and A Fine and Private Place

(3) Roger Zelazny. A good, oh, fifty percent of his work is on my reread-until-my-eyes-bleed list, and I frankly don't reread books most of the time. Especial love to the first five Amber novels (I love Benedict and Random with all the love in the world, which will come as a surprise to nobody), anything involving Dilvish the Damned, Jack of Shadows, and Creatures of Light and Darkness.

(4) James Tiptree, Jr. Up the Walls of the World and Brightness Falls from the Air

(5) Diane Duane, The Door Into... series. One a decade if we need 'em or not. (First and second runner up in this category, but filling the same craving, Robin McKinley's The Blue Sword and Barbara Hambly's Gil-Shallos books. Or at least the first three. And Dragonsbane, but not the sequels.

(6) Kurt Vonnegut, with or without the Jr.

(7) Robert Frost

Seven movies I Can Watch Over and Over
(can I just do seven more books? That would be easier.)

(1) The Fugitive

(2) The Princess Bride

(3) Unforgiven

(4) Casablanca

(5) Deep Blue Sea (gotta love a movie that everybody involved in seemed to know was a parody... except the director.)

(6) The Wrong Trousers (so it's a short. So sue me)

(7) In and Out

Oh, all right, I cheated. Fine.

(7.5) Small Soldiers (Oh, the meta. Oh, the self-parody. Oh, the killer Barbie dolls. What? Stop looking at me like that.)

P.S., the music is coalescent's fault.


We will begin on the AT, this spring/summer, yes? In little bites and pieces, but littles bites and pieces do add up.
We will. Absolutely. And the yellowdog too. I'm looking forward to it. *g*
(1) "We hate dogs. Yes we do. Who hates dogs? We hate dogs. Hate hate hate." (Accompanied by vigorous pounding on and thumping of and wrassling with the dog in question, and possibly some ear-rubbing, too.)


Dadgum, there's another household that does this? And here I've been thinking it peculiar to my partner. (Miss Absinthe totally adores how he much he hates her, oh yes she does.)
I think all doggy households do that. *g*
Some of us cat households like to do a variant on this, which generally goes along the lines of, "Oh, it's just so HARD to be a cat! How difficult your life is! However do you stand it? It's just so rough, I know, you poor thing."
Yes, exactly that. It's soooo haaaaard. I don't know how they endure it.

*trundles to refill the food bowl*
Our typical variant goes something like this:

"Yes, I know. You're the Saddest Little Pit Bull in the Whole Wide World." (Solemn tones, while giving bellyrubs or earscritches to the Sad Puppy curled up on your lap on the couch or tucked under blankets next to you on the bed.) "None of those sad pitties on the TV who have been beaten and stabbed and starved and frozen to death are half as sad as you. You don't have any food, or blankets, or toys, or warm sweaters, or soft things to sleep on, or people to pet you." (For maximum points, this speech must be delivered while watching Yet Another Horrific Pittie Abuse Case on Animal Planet.)

The pibble, for her part, will play along by doing her best to look Very, Very Sad. Except for her tail, of course.
Yanno, I'm a newcomer to all this Hambly. And Calluna _told_ me not to read the sequels to Dragonsbane. Did I listen? Nooooo, of couuuurse not.


(Am sorry you have insomnia.)
Trust us. Would we mislead you? *g*
I have them, but I haven't read them (yet).

I'm rather afraid to, given how much I loved Dragonsbane.

I'm still working (on and off) on an RPG campaign set in a reasonably similar setting to that book.
Don't read them. Trust me. Just don't.
Seconded. It's sort of like trying to revisit your first love. Leaves you with all kind of squicky, weird feelings about that person/book in the first place. You don't want to sully your utterly understandable, I-bawled-my-eyes-out-at-the-end feelings about Dragonsbane. (Might be overidentifying, here...)

(I still read them all. ALL. Oy. And also vey.)
I have to second Bear. It becomes Something Else, and drags the characters you (I) love along with it.

It is Sad.

Mind you, it's a perfectly valid authorial choice blah blah blah (even if I think it's icky), just not with THOSE CHARACTERS, dammit.
My summary of the sequels was that it was Barbara Hambly for some reason trying to be Anne Rice, but doing it very badly.

If that can't put you off, I don't know if I can help.
Um, yipe?
Thank you, yes.
I'm going to have to pay more attention to the movies you like because I liked a fair number of the ones on your list. I have in fact watched The Fugitive, Deep, Blue Sea and Small Soldiers over and over--or at least more than twice.

I also have a special classification for 'movies that are really good to watch when you want to have something on, but you're really doing something else.' French Kiss, Adventures in Babysitting, and Down Periscope have at one time or another been in that category.

--All right, ladies and gentlemen. We have fulfilled every requirement of this mission except one--Norfolk. Presently, there are several ships positioned outside the harbor to intercept us. To get in, we're going to have to use a tactic that is somewhat bizarre and extremely risky. If any of you feel it's not worth it, please let me know now.

--Actually, sir, I think we'd prefer to go with the bizarre and risky. It's worked for us so far.
I also have a special classification for 'movies that are really good to watch when you want to have something on, but you're really doing something else.'

Rather the way I have a category of 'Things that are really good to watch when you have a fever of at least 102.'

(I would like to mention (even though both are anime, so of course Matociquala wouldn't be interested anyhow), that Fushigi Yuugi makes a marvelous part of this set, while Princess Mononoke *really* should not should not should NOT have been included. I had fever dreams of things with legs rushing at me all evening.)
P.S., the music is coalescent's fault.

And I'm not sorry at all!
Didn't think you would be, somehow....