I could take all the relationship crap, introspection, and romance subplots out of my books, and be taken more seriously as a writer. But then again, if D. H. Lawrence can get away with it, maybe it would be easier to change my name to Ebenezer. Because men writing love stories is literature. Women writing love stories is girl germs.
On the other hand, women buy a hell of a lot more fiction than men.
Speaking of love stories, and girlcooties, I was reminded last night of how much I love Edward Bryant's Nebula-nominated 1973 short story "Shark."
Oh yeah. "We'll probably use your old body to feed the new one."
Another writer would take a whole goddamned story to do the character development that Bryant does by implication in that one sentence.
Damn, that's a hell of a story.
And, because I caught truepenny's insomnia and I've been up since 5 am,
Seven Things to Do Before I Die
(1) Travel more
(2) Hike the Appalachian Trail
(3) Finish the goddamned book
(4) Coin a neologism that enters the lexicon
(5) Generate some Literary Remains
(6) Witness a sunrise from space
(7) Calculate pi (What can I say? I'm in no hurry for death.)
Seven Things I Cannot Do
(1) Live with other people very well
(2) Suffer fools gladly
(3) A headstand
(4) A split (not even when I was eight.)
(5) Kill people with my brain (and not for lack of trying.)
(6) Like Babylon 5 or any anime, no matter how many times you tell me I'm a crackhead for finding it unwatchable, so just stop, already.
(7) Get out from under this cat for more than about ten minutes at a time
Seven things that Attract Me to People
(1) Freckles (red hair is nice too, but I also like brunettes. Which is why I have dated so many blond(e)s, of course)
(2) Verbal and intellectual facility. Snark. Sharpness. Braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
(3) Interesting Noses and Chins and Cheekbones (mmm, Claudia Black... I'm sorry, where were we?)
(4) A wicked grin
(5) Generosity of spirit, and by that I don't mean giving me presents.
(7) It helps if they're really, really bad for me. I'm all over it, baby.
Seven Things I say Most Often
(1) "We hate dogs. Yes we do. Who hates dogs? We hate dogs. Hate hate hate." (Accompanied by vigorous pounding on and thumping of and wrassling with the dog in question, and possibly some ear-rubbing, too.) We also hate cats, but not as often or as vocally
(2) "Get out of my kitchen! Go lie down! Git git git!" (to the dog) or "CATS! Gerroff!" (which is the all-purpose Bad Cat noise around here, sometimes extended to "Gerroff the table/sink/my head/Kit's head/the dog's head! Gerroff!")
(3) "Oh, for the love of Mike." (or) "Oh, fuck this noise." (or) "Fuck this for a lark."
(4) "You know, there's a funny story about that--"
(5) "In other news--"
(6) "Meanwhile, back in Bendal Dolum--" (Yes, I still do this, Glastonbonians. God help me.)
(7) "Get a helmet." (which is all ladegard's fault.)
Seven Books or Series or Authors I Love
(1) Richard Adams, Watership Down
(2) Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn and A Fine and Private Place
(3) Roger Zelazny. A good, oh, fifty percent of his work is on my reread-until-my-eyes-bleed list, and I frankly don't reread books most of the time. Especial love to the first five Amber novels (I love Benedict and Random with all the love in the world, which will come as a surprise to nobody), anything involving Dilvish the Damned, Jack of Shadows, and Creatures of Light and Darkness.
(4) James Tiptree, Jr. Up the Walls of the World and Brightness Falls from the Air
(5) Diane Duane, The Door Into... series. One a decade if we need 'em or not. (First and second runner up in this category, but filling the same craving, Robin McKinley's The Blue Sword and Barbara Hambly's Gil-Shallos books. Or at least the first three. And Dragonsbane, but not the sequels.
(6) Kurt Vonnegut, with or without the Jr.
(7) Robert Frost
Seven movies I Can Watch Over and Over (can I just do seven more books? That would be easier.)
(1) The Fugitive
(2) The Princess Bride
(5) Deep Blue Sea (gotta love a movie that everybody involved in seemed to know was a parody... except the director.)
(6) The Wrong Trousers (so it's a short. So sue me)
(7) In and Out
Oh, all right, I cheated. Fine.
(7.5) Small Soldiers (Oh, the meta. Oh, the self-parody. Oh, the killer Barbie dolls. What? Stop looking at me like that.)
P.S., the music is coalescent's fault.