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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

200 pages into the page proofs...

...and this is the most embarrassingly bad book ever written. What was I thinking? What is wrong with me? Who told me I could write?

Joseph Conrad said that writing was like trying to paint with the Devil jogging your elbow all the time. This is one of those days.

And when I finish these page proofs, I have to get cracking on Undertow. It's a good thing I'm really not fit for doing anything else with my life, or I'd quit writing now and save the world the pain.

That's the problem with Undertow, really. I don't believe in it yet as a story that has to be told, so the suck monkeys are winning.

Stupid suck monkeys.


I hear you - I have page proofs coming at me ANy Day now... and I am fully prepared for the same kind of Joseph COnrad's Devil's days ahead...
Must have been some snippets! [grin] I wouldn't sneeze on people pre-ordering *my* books on the strength of snippets...

*g* All books are terrible once you've re-read them twenty times and rewritten them ten.

Trust me on this.
Thank you. *g*
This is normal for this stage of the process. It's like the last couple of weeks before you break up with somebody you used to love, where you're sitting there watching them pick their nose in front of the TV and going What was I thinking????

Thank you very, very much for the vote of confidence.
Heh. Suck Monkeys. We called them crap fairies back at my Clarion, as they came in the night and turned our masterworks into... well, you get the idea.

After reading Hammered, I have complete confidence that your book is better than you think. Perhaps irrational confidence, given that you've read the page proofs and I haven't, but confidence nonetheless.
The good news is that this oh my god I have to read this FUCKING THING AGAIN? stage makes the inevitable bad reviews easier to take, when they happen.
those suck monkeys are busy, busy creatuers. they've been hanging around here too. do you think there's a repellant? something tells me that the citronella torches aren't going to do it.
I use clawhammers.
Hi Elizabeth:

I came here via the LJ of the lovely and talented Liz Williams, and I find that I must correct one statement in your post. You say that your current opus is the most embarrassingly bad book ever written -- this is patently false, because the opus I am writing is the most embarrasingly bad book ever written. It is, indeed, a pile of cat poo. I have no idea why i thought it was a nifty idea to mix time travel SF and a police procedural, and adding insult to injury by tossing in Lewis Carroll and the Russian Mafia -- no. Just no.
Nice to meet you, ma'am.

They'e all bad on the seven millionth pass.
Who told me I could write?

You mean besides the folks who picked you for the Campbell? Well, there's always us.

*hugs* I'm sorry you're in the Slough of Despond, but I do not believe even on your worst day that you are capable of beating the Eye of Argon, so you're stuck with the *second* most embarassingly bad book ever written. Plus, these are page proofs, right? Somebody bought this book? Trust your editor, they wouldn't buy crap.
Is there a faq where you explain the whole writerly zoology thing, the suck monkeys, the cat waxing, etc.? I'm always intrigued by the icons.

I feel the same way about my dissertation today. Perhaps feb 28th is national 'lose all confidence in a project you're in the middle of' day.
the writerly zoo is organic and growing.

So to speak.
Still, I too would love a snapshot bestiary (as it were); I keep seeing you guys talking about catwaxing and suck monkeys and plot squid (and things less transparent), and yearning for the context to, y'know, get the jokes.
Considering my day? Yep, I'll second that notion. Must make a note in the calendar not to do anything writing related on the 28th Feb next year.

It's like whether or not it's going to be a wet year given which day Christmas falls on...
Now that is consolation. "It doth sucketh unto the thousandth generation--but Eye of Argon sucketh worse!"

Re: *laughs sympathetically*

sodomy sodomy sodomy

Re: *laughs sympathetically*

Ratstration ratstration ratstration!


...I am now adding the phrase "killing the suck monkeys" to my lj interests.

Give it a day. One night of pure rest has never failed to provide me with a more objective view of my writing. The writing may still suck to *me*, but it doesn't suck quite as much as I previously thought. Plus, I realize that my subjective take is only one opinion.
Well, we know you're good. So there.

(I'm comforting myself about the suckitude of what I'm writing with the notion that, because this is the first draft, I'll be able to correct allll the mistakes and flaws and bad sentences and paragraphs during That Magic Second Draft).
If you don't mind me saying so, it's kind of heartening that this even happens to experienced authors.

However, I'm pretty sure the book doesn't suck. Granted, I've never seen it, but I've got this sneaking suspicion that if it did, you, your editor, and then you would have caught it by now.

But the book has gotten this far, so I'm willing to lay money on the fact that it's pretty good. :)

And yeah, you've got a lot of supporters as it is, but I figured one more voice of support couldn't hurt.