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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

and the longest bridge I ever crossed, over Pontchartrain

Okay, me. It's time you got started on this bloody book. Ignoring it isn't going to make it write itself, you know.

And you should write those short stories you have on deadline too. You know the ones that are supposed to help pay the bills?

Me: (pep talk to me:) Bear, it's just a caper novel. It's Little Fuzzy meets The Italian Job. That's all it is. You know what happens. You have the world built. You know the characters okay.

You're psyching yourself out here, kid. Just tell the fscking story. The meta will take care of itself.

benpeek has his own ten things he's learned from being a writer:

8. Your friends will eventually become tired of buying your work. It's best to tell them, from the start, that they're not required to buy it, read it, or even pay attention to it. This way you will receive their unconditional support, though they will not, in most cases, buy it, read, or talk to you about it. You will be quite happy with this.

Amen, baby. Amen. So quit apologizing if you haven't read my books already. You're here to entertain me, fools!


That came out wrong.



That came out wrong.

Of course...

I just saw a Hindi Movie Which Told Me All I Needed To Know About What Real Life Authors Are Really Like...

If you ever happen to figure out how to get a project to write itself by ignoring it, could you be persuaded to share? That would be... wonderful.
Nah, that's over at warren_ellis's blog.
I need a big poster that says "You don't have to save the world; you just have to pay the bills."
No, it came out just right.

"Ignoring it isn't going to make it write itself, you know."

Well, shit. I guess I better rethink that strategy. :P


See, I have this problem, where everything I've written recently has been dictated by the meta. Carnival was all about the meta. Whiskey and Water? All about the meta.

This damned book is just a caper novel with quantum mechanics. It's just a story!

I have no idea how to write when I'm not deconstructing something.

My book obviously needs Seth Green.

And little cars.
Seth Green *IS* kinda cute. I vote for throwing him in.

Little cars? eh.
There is no such thing as "just a story". You just haven't gotten deep enough into this novel's underpants.

PS. I am thinking of changing my last name to I-just-want-to-finish-dumb-book-so-it-would-leave-me-the-hell-alone

Think it's too long?
I like it.

And I'm not sure this book wears skivvies.

that might be the probem right there.
So put in Seth Green. And little cars.

It's hard work to be frivolous.
It is!!!!!

I have frog boygirls. What more does it want from me????
So put in the little cars and gratuitous nudity already.

You can make Seth Green gratuitously nude, if you prefer.

*faints dead away*
Okay, me. It's time you got started on this bloody book. Ignoring it isn't going to make it write itself, you know.

It's not?

I suppose that means mine won't write itself, either. Damn.

benpeek has his own ten things he's learned from being a writer:

There's a space between Points 5 and 6. I don't believe it's either/or.
I agree.
Here's some entertainment for ya.


Especially the last Q & A.
Ahh, Bob. *g*
Note to self: see Pootie Tang. I wanted to see it when I saw the previews-- now I definitely need to see it.
thank you, sir.

Attention Bear creature (Spoilers for Book three, don't read if you haven't read)

So, in a thoughtless gesture of support anyway (now I don't get credit for it in heaven later, you know, if I tell) I bought book 3.

Now, this is all well and good, as I had previously purchased books 1 and 2. I read them a year ago, and a month or two back, Mr. Pecunium (Terry) was over and I said, "Hey, you know this person, read her books, they're good stuff." So off he went with vols 1 & 2. (He'll have to buy copies of his own, though, because he just should. You know.)

There's a reason I'm telling you that part.

See, I opened up the green volume 3 (What was the title? "Green running chick"?) and I'm like, "WTF, who ARE all these people? I remember Richard, and Jenny, and the evil villian who was gay but isn't anymore because a big rock smashed his very neat partner, but doggone it, I don't remember the other people."

(It's just the ADD kicking in, Matt, you'll get through it.)

And ya know, I want it to go faster. C'mon, is it going to be fixed or is everyone going to be fricaseed in place? Who are the mystery guys? Will Scooby solve the mystery with Shaggy, or will the oceans boil and the whole place become a scene from Shangri-La meets Forbidden Lost Land Adventures? Maybe a lightsaber fight on a volcano... no, wait, that's been done. Never mind.

I'll let you know what the ending is... but you know already, don't you? It's impossible to surprise the author.

Re: Attention Bear creature (Spoilers for Book three, don't read if you haven't read)


What, two new characters, and you panic???

Re: Attention Bear creature (Spoilers for Book three, don't read if you haven't read)

Yar! TWO!?
Wait... (counting on fingers) there's a new xenobiocryptologylogy guy, and who? Wait! Don't answer. I'll read it. (You're totally rethinking associations, aren't you? "That Matt... all his dogs ain't barkin'")

The world is completely in confusion!

Re: Attention Bear creature (Spoilers for Book three, don't read if you haven't read)

There's that guy, and there's the swishy redheaded linguist .
There's this caper-flick anime by Hayao Miyazaki called Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro. It's... wonderfully entertaining. Funny, even in subtitles, palpably implausible in the best ways imaginable, nicely paced, and so much darn fun. The hero is a rumpled crook. He has a neat relationship with his crook buddy and the guy at Interpol who's trying to lock his ass up. The setting is an imaginary European country(the Duchy of Cagliostro) as imagined by a Japanese guy who first met Europe in fairy tales and storybooks. There's wonder and flying machines and a slightly insipid girl is necessary for plot purposes, but Lupin is too self-mocking and rumpled to be a James Bond alpha-dog, and there's a kickass girl who has to save *him*... lots n lots.

Hmm, I don't think I'm selling this well, I just imagine it might be a cool piece to watch & get into the caper mood. Or not. *shrug* :)