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bear by san

March 2017

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bear by san

I'm a good Christian. I own a juicer.*

via supergee, a conservative Christian blogger comments on how to be a good Christian wife.

Having read other posts on the site, and the W. quote in the subhead, I would be leaning toward calling this a parody. Except, apparently not. Please do continue through to other recent posts. I found them edifying.

I would ask that those chasing the link from my blog not flame the woman. Because, well. I think she's already got her hands full what with the makeup before the morning orange juice. And, a generous response to the misguided seems to me the Christian thing to do. Also the Buddhist one. (Pagans, Muslims, heathens, heretics, and Jews, of course, are free to follow their consciences and the teachings of their own faiths.)

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.** And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

(Matthew 5:38-42, NIV)
Actually, I can make a case that she's right about the FCOJ/whoredom link. After all, those in lower socieconomic groups are both less likely to be able to afford/have easy availability of fresh fruit... and also more likely to resort to the sex trade as a means of earning a living. Of course, if the tips are good enough, you could probably afford fresh fruit.



*except for the Christian part.

**yes, I do know this could be construed as dropping him a moon, but I don't think that's what Jesus meant, yo.

Comments

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Seriously? Seriously? If it's not a parody I just lost a little more faith in humanity.

Thanks for the link!
LDS, that's unchristian too. Even squeezing your own oranges won't save you.

that's annieangel/shoelimpy

a popular troll team over at Sadly No! and Eschaton. General concensus is that they're parody trolls, not serious, although this is not 100% certain.

Re: that's annieangel/shoelimpy

I just can't tell, and I'm not too proud to admit it. It's all quite ridiculous, but. The face is on straight enough, and I have met people in real life who would be nodding and agreeing.
"A fat husband is a faithful husband," was my favorite tip, but I wasn't sure whether it was implying that a man loves a woman who bakes, or that other women wouldn't want a fat man.

Also, am I a whore if I buy orange juice that isn't frozen?
If you have to ask if you're a whore....

I keep thinking this has to be a parody.
Oh Sweet Mother of God. Do not sit down at breakfast because the sound of the chair as you get up to get him more biscuits will disturb your husband? A full husband falls asleep fast? A fat husband is a faithful husband? Only whores initiate sex?

I think your "crying jags" are not exactly PMS-induced, lady.
I can't prove it's a parody, but as somebody who has more than a passing familiarity with the religious conservative blogosphere (though admittedly more with the Catholics than with the hardcore Evangelicals, and they might just be saner), I would bet a pretty serious amount of money that it is.
No bet.
Heh, seems like pretty good advice, assuming that she has found a husband who likes his women boring.

I would believe that this was parody except that I've met women and men who think like this. Well, women who think like this and men who would think like this if they bothered to think the whole position out but of course running the household is the wife's job and why should he have to consider the minutia of how to do it?
As a Christian husband, I gagged upon reading this, but saw that others pointed out to the author scriptural instructions for a more complete life as a woman than espoused in this misguided posting. I do hope this is a parady, but if so, the parady is maintained throughout the responses.

What got me (among so many other things) was her swearing.
Only whores use frozen. Man, that's a great line.

As I read I kept wondering where Christianity came into it -- to me, it looks like it's straight out of Heinlein's To Sail Beyond The Sunset.

Well, except she left out the part about stepping aside for a younger wife when you're no longer fertile. But I'm sure if it had occurred to her, she'd have included it.
well, if you're not fertile, than marriage has no purpose. It's implicit; it doesn't need to be made manifest.
*sigh* Speaking as a conservative Christian (albeit not a Jerry Falwell or Charles Dobson flavored one)...This is definitely not a Christian viewpoint. I could make a case for it being the Muslim one...

(Oooh, bad Carol! No judging here!)

Jesus came to bring us freedom, not another form of slavery. Thank God I'm single, if this is what a Christan wife is.

She's welcome to her view of heaven, too. It certainly isn't mine.
Perhaps you should ask the Muslims in the readership what they think. I know there's a couple who check in here....
Ooh, I just noticed. Naughty naughty matociquala! You are trying to mislead these people by using the NIV instead of the one true completely accurate translaton of the Bible.

Remember kids, if it isn't the KJV, you are going to hell!
The KJV. If it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.

...should we tell them about James' boyfriends?

yanno, every day i am alive in this world i realize more folks are sex trade workers because they want to be. Seems like a fairly logical occupational decision, too. (not saying your ascertation isn't correct, just ruminating)

also, the woman that sits beside my pod needs to learn #4, as does her husband. good gravy with the personal calls.
Yeah, yanno, other than social stigma, the problems in the sex trade appears to be the same problems you'd find anywhere: asshole bosses and asshole customers.

Problematic.
Clearly this blog is written tongue-in-cheek. The first clue is in the quote directly below the title at the top of the page:

"Our nation must come together to unite.” - George W. Bush

I don't have time to write an in-depth analysis, but there are a host of others.
*g* You didn't actually read *my* post, did you? The W quote is mentioned.
I sincerly hope that is a joke!

I'm definitely not going to flame her, I feel sorry for her enough as it is.
I think this is a joke. Check out this:

http://missannieangel.blogspot.com/

Whew. *g*

As I alluded in my post, I read the original, went "this is a parody," and then got to the comments and the people linking it in dead seriousness and panicked.

That is a reassuring link you have there.
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