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bear by san

March 2017

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masturbation

deserve's got nothing to do with it, kid.

Okay, a little bemused by the amount of genderfuck going on the 1999 anniversary edition of "Hair," which I've had for a while but just managed to listen to. ("White Boys" appears to be sung in large part by men.)



My refrigerator magnets currently consist of the "Moscow Rules" and a whole bunch of magnetic poetry. Featured are the Shakespeare, Genius, and Erotic editions. (The latter was a gift from stillnotbored. Now you know how she got her username.)

On consideration, if I had room for the Dog and Cat ones, I suspect this pretty much sums up everything you need to know about me.

What's on your refrigerator?



You know, the better I get at this writing thing, the more I need to be told what I'm doing right. Which is a funny sort of thing.

Several of my friends were gracious enough to read the new novelette last night in rough draft, and let me know what they thought. And I agreed with the critique in every case--they identified what I had already thought needed shoring up--but I kept finding myself having to ask "did it work? does the ending work? does it make emotional sense?" and in pretty much every case the response I got was "Oh, yeah, I liked it fine, but I like these characters a lot." or "Yanno, it's not actually very smutty."

And yeah, there's a thing I need to fix (One of the two POVs is much stronger than the other one, so it's flapping with one wing, currently, and I need to find a way to get more spec element up front without abrogating the very, very understated magic that's the hallmark of the Promethean universe) but what nobody was telling me was, hey, is there an emotional arc? Are you rooting for these guys? Is there any thematic impact?

Or am I masturbating, here?

'Cause I can always slap it on a website as backstory for Blood & Iron if it's not good enough to sell. And I was kind of suspecting that that was all it was, was backstory, and not a real, live story of its own.

I was actually kind of spiralling down into a pretty serious "Well, I'm totally out of love with this story--it's a piece of shit and nobody wants to tell me, guess I'll trunk it now and save myself the embarrassment of forcing editors to read about penile tattooing," (it's on page one; I mean, you can't miss it) when I realized I was getting depressed and unreasonable.

So I sent  truepenny a forlorn plaintive email asking "Is there anything you liked about it?" And she came through with a list, and identified Actual Thematic Elements.

So I guess it's worth saving after all.

I used to be far more certain about the good things about my work--even certain about the good things that didn't exist. Now, I can spot what's wrong with it in a heartbeat, but I have no idea any more if the part that isn't obviously broken is of interest to anyone at all.

Isn't that funny?



Finally got that slush taken care of. Phew. My to-do list is appreciably shrinking.

There is this thing about novels, especially in the end stages of the first draft. They expand to fill every available niche of your life. Every cranny, every surface, every crack. Until the list of things that Haven't Got Done because first, you have to finish the novel, takes on a life of its own.

For me, a long list of Things That Aren't Done is a huge stressor. My primary motivator, in many ways, is Finishing Things. I like things that are Done. So last night I sat down and read a month's worth of neglected Ideomancer slush. That felt pretty good.

I wasn't the only one slushing last night....

(In case you thought editbeings were always coolly professional)

So, because I like lists (they make me feel in control of a situation), here are things I crossed off my to-do list this weekend.

First draft of "The Rest of your Life in a Day," which probably needs a new title because I stopped it in the thirty seconds where it still has a happy ending. (What kind of an ending you get is entirely a function where you stop telling the story.)
Slush
Work on "War Stories"
Carnival proofreader queries
Line edits for "Sonny Liston Takes the Fall"
Readover final version of "Sonny Liston Takes the Fall"


There. That feels better.

Things I still need to do before oh, August 15 or so:

Article for Broad Universe
Article for ASIM
Submission draft of Undertow (I got my deadline pushed back a little, but I'm still going to try to make the original one)
Revisions to A Companion to Wolves.
Write either "Limerent" or "Chatoyant"
Write "War Stories"
Revise "The Rest of Your Life in a Day."

Fortunately, the day job should be dropping from a 40-hour-week to a 32-hour-week in here somewhere, if All Goes According To Plan.



One of the many gorgeous tattoos created by the artist who is working on one of the people who agreed to help me with the tattooing scene in that last story.

I really want to thank everybody who helped out with that. Y'all rock. The internets, they are powerful.


And a meme:



You scored as VIII - Strength. Strength is not just physical strength, it also means emotional and spiritual strength. It is the Strength to do what you know is right in the face of opposition. Strength to defy convention and authority. Stength does not have to be used directly. It can be inner strength that supports one in the face of attacks on what they hold dear. The person of Strength remains true to their beliefs. In a Tarot reading, this card can indicate overcoming of obstacles and refusal to be beaten down. If badly aspected this card can indicate loss of faith, failure of Will.

</td>

VIII - Strength

94%

IV - The Emperor

88%

II - The High Priestess

75%

XVI: The Tower

75%

XIII: Death

75%

III - The Empress

69%

XIX: The Sun

63%

I - Magician

63%

XI: Justice

63%

X - Wheel of Fortune

50%

0 - The Fool

44%

XV: The Devil

31%

VI: The Lovers

6%

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com</tr>



Somebody needs to explain to the Promethean Age crew that they don't get any more books written until at least 2009, and that they can stop supplying me with seductive soundtrack music.

That said. the Dorothy Wallace version of "Where to Now, St. Peter?" is a creepy little song. It's sort of Loreena McKennitt byt way of Fiona Apple, or something.

I took myself a blue canoe
And I floated like a leaf
Dazzling, dancing, helf-enchanted
In my Merlin sleep--

Crazy was the feeling
Restless were my eyes
Insane they took the paddles
My arms they paralyzed.

So where to now, St. Peter?
If it's true I'm in your hands--
I may not be a Christian,
But I've done all one man can.



And having had a busy morning of accomplishing not a damned thing, I think it's time for my nap.
Tags:

Comments

You scored as XIII: Death. Death is probably the most well known Tarot card - and also the most misunderstood. Most Tarot novices would consider Death to be a bad card, especially given its connection with the number thirteen. In fact this card rarely indicates literal death.Without "death" there can be no change, only eventual stagnation. The "death" of the child allows for the "birth" of the adult. This change is not always easy. The appearance of Death in a Tarot reading can indicate pain and short term loss, however it also represents hope for a new future.

</td>

XIII: Death

94%

VIII - Strength

75%

II - The High Priestess

75%

I - Magician

69%

XVI: The Tower

69%

VI: The Lovers

63%

XIX: The Sun

63%

IV - The Emperor

63%

XI: Justice

56%

III - The Empress

50%

0 - The Fool

50%

XV: The Devil

44%

X - Wheel of Fortune

38%

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com


Which isn't all that surprising.

Now if only I could get promoted to Shiva, destroyer of worlds.

TK
are they hiring to replace Oppenheimer yet?
Is it just because Microsoft IE is evil that I can't read this comment?

Just curious. :)
I guess you're badly aspected then - you're suffering from a loss of faith.
No, actually, I'm not.
Grr...I'm drawing a blank, and it's bothering me. In the movie version of Hair wasn't "Black Boys" sung by men?
You scored as II - The High Priestess. The High Priestess is a card of intuition, instinct and hidden knowledge. She knows all your secrets, you can hide nothing from her. Yet you will never know the secrets she herself protects.If well aspected in a Tarot spread, this card can indicate the use of intuition to solve problems; trust to your instincts. If badly aspected, it can mean suppression and ignoring of such instincts - following your head at the expense of your heart.

</td>

II - The High Priestess

94%

XIII: Death

94%

VIII - Strength

81%

III - The Empress

81%

XIX: The Sun

75%

VI: The Lovers

75%

XI: Justice

75%

I - Magician

63%

XVI: The Tower

63%

0 - The Fool

56%

X - Wheel of Fortune

56%

IV - The Emperor

56%

XV: The Devil

19%

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com



And somewhere the myriad tiny gods are laughing at me.
murrup?

Our fridge has a few magnets of kittens and puppies, a bottle opener (as in the beer kind), a few graduation pictures of our cousins from last year, and an annoucement telling us that my good friend adopted her husband's daughter. :)

Oh, and a very out of date wipe off calender :)
The most interesting thing on my fridge is a note that drifted down through the cracks in the porch from the upstairs neighbors. Written in a child's hand, it says, simply, "No love for you."

The Boy and I determined that it was from the Love Nazi.

NO LOVE FOR YOU!

(it's held in place by a Wallace and Grommit magnet.)
What's on your refrigerator?

Sentient mould.

No, wait, that's what's in my fridge. On it? Alphabet magnets, though nothing like a full set, postcards, newspaper clippings, a reference from my old school principal that makes me blush whenever I read it and which I keep meaning to put away safely in a file somewhere, and a twenty years' assortment of random magnets which haven't yet gone to magnet heaven. Also mould that hasn't quite evolved to the moving, breathing, thinking type. Yet.

Well, you did ask.
What's on our refrigerator?

Reminder cards for medical appointments, a menu from the Taste Good Chinese restaurant, magnets (including a wooden penguin and Blue from Blue's Clues), coupons that we inevitably never get around to using before they expire.
Is that the next step on the path to Writing Enlightenment?

Yes. The inability to judge one's own work shifts from thinking you're better than you are to thinking you are worse.

This stage appears to persist indefinitely.
Well, it took three years (almost literally--it was about June of 2003 when it hit, for me) but I seem to have reached some peace with it.

My to-do list runs through the next ten years (though not continuously). It's likely to need revisions.
What's on your refrigerator?

Um. The take-out menu for the Lebanese bakery. A bazillion blank pads-onna-magnet, some of which are actually used to write down needed groceries. The take-out menu for the Unity House of Pizza. A Chessie System button that lost its pin and was converted to a magnet. A phase of the moon calendar. The card with the cats' birthdays (and, in some cases, deathdays) notated. An out-of-date eyeglass prescription. Coupons for Shaw's grocery store.

...I sorta take it on faith that there actually is a refrigerator under there...

I used to be far more certain about the good things about my work--even certain about the good things that didn't exist. Now, I can spot what's wrong with it in a heartbeat, but I have no idea any more if the part that isn't obviously broken is of interest to anyone at all.

Isn't that funny?


Well, I don't find it so, though it's certainly accurate, in my experience. It's also true that, though I'm technically more proficient at writing nowadays, I don't write any faster -- in fact, I write more slowly -- than when I was just learning to tell the difference between sentences and fragments, and when to care.

Yanno, I have heard that editors get nervous when an established author likes one of their own books, because it can indicate a return to un-self-critical writing.

:-P

I invite them all to live in my head for a month.
I have heard that editors get nervous when an established author likes one of their own books, because it can indicate a return to un-self-critical writing.

I was on a Boskone panel with Shariann Lewitt where she reported the following phone conversation with her agent:

Agent: So, Shariann, how's the new book coming along?

Shariann: It's AWFUL, HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE DREK! I can hardly stand to be in the same room with it, it's so awful! I've completely forgotten how to write!

Agent: Good, good...

On my fridge:

1 magnet from our vet with our golden retriever's picture on it

1 magnetic business card from superherostuff.com

Bettie Page and all of her outfits...she gets changed according to our moods
*loff*
What's on your refrigerator?

Magnetic IPA letters, which for the last two years have been spelling out (phonetically, in RP) proposed titles for the next Harry Potter book-- currently "Harry Potter and the Doorstop of Doom," formerly "Harry Potter and the Triangulation of Desire," "Harry Potter and the Dumbledore Deathwatch," "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood's Prick," "Harry Potter and the Age of Consent," and others I forget.

I love you so much right now.

...do you know leahbobet? you need to know leahbobet!

Re: I love you so much right now.

No, but after reading the linked post, I think I need to.
...IPA magnets?

Ohmigodwhere do I get them?
Magnetic Phonetics 2, from Cascadilla Press.
You are entirely my hero of the week.
We oberved a blanket ban on fridge magnets after we moved; a cluttered fridge coveed in filth and uncleanable because of four boxes of magnetic poetry and two magnetic alphabets (Hebrew and English) and a bunch of other crap put darling right off magnets, and me darn close.

But then I found useful magnets, and now we have a magnetic hanging rack for the kitchen towels, a magnetic rack for paper towels, a magnetic little bin-thing that holds the takeout menus, and one or two other magnets of less use but some sentimental value; one coyote from Arizona (which is holding up a postcard from rezendi from someplace exotic and African), and two magnets from my uncle's historic railroad. I think we have one other misellaneous utility magnet around the other side which I'm forgetting. (We have two and a half sides of the fridge exposed, so most of this is on the sides.)

Were we to allow maggot poetry again, we'd probably have various poets, Perl, and print-your-own in Sindarin. Oh, and the bottle opener should really go there when I replace it, too. I also used to have a nice copy of the "You are now leaving the American Sector" sign from Checkpoint Charlie; I'd probably put that on the bathroom door though. No, wait, the bomb shelter sign goes on the bathroom, so I suppose the Checkpoint Charlie sign can go on the fridge.

The International Spy Museum has Moscow Rules shirts.
http://www.spymuseumstore.com/
What's on my fridge:



I'd also like to register a complaint against the idea that masturbating is something that other people would not want to watch. If the internet has disproven anything, it's this.
awwwwwww.

You win.

I'd also like to register a complaint against the idea that masturbating is something that other people would not want to watch. If the internet has disproven anything, it's this.

...fair cop.