Things I have noticed:
there is a deep-rooted prepositional phrase infestation in this thing. I must get a hammer and kill them all.
Muire is a stiff--a complete and utter repression case. She is all about the Matters Of Life And Death. Also, she has no sense of humor to speak of. On the other hand, her first chapter, at least, was better-written than Mingan's first chapter.
Mingan's voice really sucked, but he's probably a lot more fun at parties.
And I can fix the voice issue. In fact, I am having a lot of fun pushing him toward an Anglo-Saxon vocabulary. And sentence fragments.
Gotta figure out what to do for chapter headers on Strifbjorn's stuff, since I am no longer using the Letter From The Future schtick. Which does mean this book has the downerest downer ending in the history of Downsville.
Oh, the ANGST! *pins wrist to forehead*
I have done better since, but yanno, this is still pretty good in patches.
Still like Rannveig.
Wow, I've gotten better at this.
Only 393 more pages to go. I've already gotten 5 pages out of this thing.