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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

"You are in a maze of twisted Biblical passages, all alike."

via ladegard

Deconstructing "The Rainbow Connection." 

Ia! Ia!

via gannet, more complete a. afarensis unearthed.

I was just about to climb into the shower this morning when the doorbell buzzer buzzed. Now, I dunno about you, but there are things that I generally do not take into the shower with me, and one of them is my clothes.

The door my doorbell buzzer buzzes for is down two flights of stairs, and I could hear the unmistakable rumble of a UPS truck from the street, so I hit the entry thingy, found my almost-never-used bathrobe, clawed it out from under the bed, slithered into it, grabbed my keys, and--since the delivery guys always wait downstairs--girded my loins (literally) for an embarrassing trot downstairs.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear beyond the corridor fire door than... the cutest delivery guy in the history of delivery guys. Fortyish, British accent, streaky little bangs, eye crinkles, sunglasses, kind of a beaky nose.

The eye crinkles kill me. I would date Satan Himself if he had good eye crinkles.

I stammered some sort of profoundly flustered apology about his perfect timing and he grinned at me and I signed and he went on his way, leaving me foolishly clutching my package, so to speak, with my hair all in disarray and my chubby ankles chilling.

He must be used to it, I'm sure.

But I swear the last time I saw this movie, in ended differently....



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" . . . so the pay is shite, yes, and winter really can suck, but Demm I love this job! What comes down is what you Yanks call a hottie, all pink from waking up, her hair a bit tousled. There are definite perks, oh yes."

You are good for my ego, my dear....
1. Rainbow Connection link = ROCK! HA!

2. UPS does not hire ugly men. It must be a prerequisite: "Must be able to carry off brown Bermuda shorts in such a fashion as to make women want to touch themselves randomly". Not swinging that way, I'm unsure if that applies to female drivers, but I wouldn't be shocked.
It's some sort of conspiracy.

I'll be in my bunk.
::sigh:: Random eye candy. ::envy::

I'll tell ya, there are worse things than finding an attractive man at your door, much less one who brings nifty packages. :-)

So . . . if one may ask: what was in the package? What kind of storyteller are you, anyway?? ::grin::
A birthday present from my dad!

Does that make it better or worse?
So I take it the next time I send you a package, I should UPS it? ;-D
Wait, I lied. He was a Fed-Ex ground guy. I was apparently too flustered to notice the uniform....
Next time, just drag him inside. The British don't bother with dating, remember.
THAT was how the movie ended.

(There are Americans who date?)
Ok, trying not to laugh here. But it's a loving friendship kind of laugh, not a mocking ironic kind of laugh, I swear to God...
*g* I wouldn't have posted it if it wasn't funny....

The bathrobe is green felt, and exceedingly bulky and ugly, tocomplete your mental picture. I bought it for warmth, when ladegard and I lived in a garret where the average ambient air temperature in winter was ~50 degrees or so.

It was a very medieval way of life. We used to carry paraffin hurricane lamps around from place to place so we could warm our hands.

I am not making this up.

I still have something like six or eight of the damned things.

...I should get a new bathrobe. Now I know what to ask for for Christmas, I guess....
Fortyish, British accent, streaky little bangs, eye crinkles, sunglasses, kind of a beaky nose.

*snicker* I got me one of those... well, except for the streaky hair part.

My UPS guy is a skinny local guy who will wait until I come thundering down the stairs -- and then wait again for the cats to follow me, so he can say hello to them as well. He also calls me "miss." I loves him....
This one was rather a bit shorter than yours.... otherwise I might have checked the label and tags.
Fortyish, British accent, streaky little bangs, eye crinkles, sunglasses, kind of a beaky nose.

Hell, for that I'd start mailing packages to myself. mrow!
Now that's a great idea.
I never seem to get the cute delivery guys. Maybe the first one to see me answer the door in a purple sheet-toga warned the rest of them off. :P
How come you never greet me at the door in a purple sheet-toga?
I, too, am an aficionado of the eye crinkles. *le sigh*
There is a word in Russian to describe the quality of expressive/attractive skin around the eyes.

Lenin was supposed to have great gobs of this trait.

What's the word?

Incidentally, so do you.
But I swear the last time I saw this movie, in ended differently....

Maybe you had the wrong sound-track playing. There are conventions to these things...
*happysigh* We have cute UPS guys too. The one we had at the old store (before we moved) was named Angel and used to bring us cookies.

I think it's so we don't lash out when they bring us twenty boxes of new releases at 4pm on a Friday. :p
This entire thread is too damned cute.

As a side note, I was disappointed that the sinister take on Rainbow Connection isn't my favorite sinister take on it.

I like the lyric:

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.

Clearly, Kermit is a Satanist.

Also, the bit about the voices that calls the young sailors... usually results in shipwrecks and drowning. Just saying.
Clearly, Kermit is a Satanist.

Oh, that "Rainbow Connection" thing is hilarious! Thank you!

(But I still love the song.)
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