They would have men on the way to revoke my thumbs right now.
The good news is, after four days of practice the D Major is only agonizing, not actually bringing tears to my eyes. But the bruises on my fingertips are obvious to visual inspection.
*twenty minutes because that's how long it takes me to stop, look at my fingers, figure out the chord change, execute the chord change, adjust my fingers so that the strings stop buzzing, and play the next bar and a half.
**my current goal is to learn this, the simplified version of "The Gambler," "Eleanor Rigby," "Seven,", and "Brown-Eyed Girl" by WisCon.
The eventually lifetime goal would be something like "Wooden Ships" without complete humilation, but that might be pushing my luck.
Bonus: Wooden Ships on Youtube.
P.S. Bonus: Preview of Damien Rice's new CD 9 at AOL.