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bear by san

March 2017



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bear by san

'Oooh, Master Yew,' she croodled, 'don't you dare.'

Oh, I know you've been waiting for the annual celebration and dissection!

via buymeaclue, this year's Guardian bad-sex-in-fiction list is out!

The Guardian.

The extracts.

It's nice to have thematic union in my blog.

ETA: Actually, I sort of like this. It's, er, vividly observed....

Now he moved up and down, Man-from Atlantisly. His silver chain jiggled on his neck.

Now her grubby soles met like they were praying.

Now his skin was glazed in roast pork sweat.

Now she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll.



That always makes me feel better about the slash I used to write...
It makes me feel better about my zero-G sex....
Danishes? Jesus. I haven't eaten breakfast yet.
Here are the extracts!


My google-fu triumphs!
Now she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll.


I was planning on re-reading the Tove Jansson books next year, goddamnit.

Oh, you found them! Great. I Googled, but I didn't think to go to the Guardian's own site...

Oh! Chairman Mao!

*g* Yeah, for some reason, the google thing never works on those. I found that out last year....

Thank you for the alert!
Well, baby writers grow up to have book contracts...
I do not like it in a boat.
I do not like it with a goat.


Becoz I iz pedantique

The competition is actually sponsored by the Literary Review (even if they don't report it on their somewhat minimalist website). The Guardian only reports on the results, though with annual schadenfreudly glee.

Re: Becoz I iz pedantique

See, and that's why everybody assumes it's the Guardian's thing.

"Man-from Atlantisly"?!?!?!?!?

My eyes . . . they won't unboggle.
Oh, absolutely. There really should be another hyphen between "from" and "Atlantisly," shouldn't there?
Poor Charlotte Bronte is turning in her grave...

Mostly awful, but . . .

I thought the first entry was trying to do something experimental with language. . . like "A Clockwork Orange," maybe, or Kathy Acker's stuff. I'm not saying it was good, really, but I tend to give a pass to anyone who is trying to color outside the lines, even if the picture ends up ugly. Because so very many writers stay firmly within the established lines, even in SF/F.

Actually, I just realized, I like your writing, Ms. Elizabeth Bear, because I can read along and think you are coloring within the established lines, and then I realize that I only think that because you drew new lines and changed the whole damned picture. Very nice.

Re: Mostly awful, but . . .

...boy, I need you to explain what you meant by that! *g* (Thanks, though!)
B... b... but it isn't on a plane... buy one of them, bring it to WFC '07! :D

>> "... she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll..."

Quote: "You made me sound like a horse." - a workmate's ex-girlfriend! I could never look her in the eye again.
What is croodling, and why is it sexy?
The first one from the extracts, I'm sure is supposed to be from a child/childlike person's perspective, and thus the weird references. Which makes it less ridiculous, particularly in light of some of the rest of the examples. And wow, what a year for the bad sex.
Now she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll.

Okay, there needs to be an icon.
OMG - those are horrible! *laughs and laughs* Makes me wonder if I could start an online gaming 'bad TS poses' contest. Light knows there are plenty of those out there.