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bear by san

March 2017

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animation wallace cheese

Some of you will remember the godzilla penis.

Last summer, I bought a monstera fruit. (I have a long history of buying weird fruit out of curiousity: ever since my mother first gave me a taste of pomegranate at age four or so, I've been convinced that the weird fruits are all much tastier than the standard everyday fruits.

Alas, eventually they catch on, and also start to suck. (Much like bands. Remember when kiwi first hit the US, and they were beautiful buttery tart-sweet little things you cut in half and ate with a grapefruit spoon? Now they're sour cardboard. Alas for hybridization and commercial farming.) Anyway, if it's peculiar, I'll try it.)

My experiences with the monstera, or, as I chose to call it, the godzilla penis, are enumerated here and here and here. (jaylake cheese blogs. I fruit blog.)

Well, this week I bought a horned melon. because I like fruit that can do you an injury. (Durian, for example. Although, having eaten durian, I am unlikely to do so again--because while the flavor is indeed quite nice if you hold your nose while it's going down, burping old socks for several hours is not worth a banana milkshake.)

Anyway, when you cut open a horned melon, it starts oozing tadpoles. Okay, green slimy seeds like the white seeds in watermelon wrapped up in gelatin. They're actually kind of neat, and they pop out when you press the pith with a spoon. That's at least fifteen minutes of entertainment right there. POP! POP! POP!

After scraping them off the cutting board, I tasted a few (cucumber with lime) and popped the rest into a small bowl. A certain amount of consideration on how to deal with consuming them left me with the brilliant idea of mixing them with lime seltzer.

This works extraordinarily well. The individual seeds each free-float in a oblong gelatin envelope, and the whole thing has a very faint but inoffensive flavor. The overall sensation is not unlike drinking bubble tea or Thai basil seed drink.

Or tadpoles.

Tadpoles with lime.

...oddly enough, I find this kind of engaging. It makes me feel like a Hutt.

And it is rich in vitamin C.

Comments

Bear, the bearer of strange fruits!
Tadpoles with lime.

You scare me.

Never stop. :-)
I think actual tadpoles would squirm more.
Funny that you should bring that up, as I'm starting horrific experiments with grafting this spring, starting with the two grapefruit rootstocks I grew from seed years back. (Sadly, I learned that grapefruit grown from seed almost never flower or bear fruit, so it's time for me to discover if I'm as bad at grafting as I am at writing.) Considering the varieties of citrus that can be grafted onto a grapefruit, I fully expect to have a good seven or eight different varieties of exotic (including a Buddha's Hand citron) on my big grapefruit tree by the time we finally get the chance to meet.
*g* If I lived where citrus grew, I would be tempted to conduct a frankensteinian citrus experiment myself. Power to the people!
Have you met Buddha's hand yet?
I have not eaten it, however!
Tenuously relevant due to your subject title, y'know:

I thought of you (and Scott, Jen, Amanda and the others) today as I sat down to lunch at my parents', where I am for Christmas. On the table, my mother had a sag book, basically an old school romantic novel by Anne King full of cheese, where some nineteen year old floozy has seen "more death, poverty and tragedy in her few years than most people do in a lifetime" and yet is lined up for a chance meeting with Prince Fancipants, as he randomly detours into her life after taking a wrong turn on his latest fox hunt.

It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, you know. At least... not until I glanced down past the blurb on the back cover and saw the title of her next (or related, or something) book.

I shit you not:


Amazon

!

:D

Merry Christmas, Liz!
Sag book = Saga book!
I love you madly.
As the Ramones said, "Jabba Jabba Hutt!"

Get yer melon on, grrl.
So, Satan = tadpoles?

...wow.
Kiwifruit are interesting things. They are much less sour and cardboardy if they are properly ripe (they should give a little when gently squeezed). Most sent for export aren't ripe yet -- they're shipped unripe so they don't bruise. They can be ripened up the same way as many other fruits -- put them in a paper bag with a banana.

If you can, try golden kiwifruit -- the flesh is yellow, and they're sweeter and not as astringent as the green ones. Also not as hairy, but unless you're one of them as eats the skins (and I know people who do), that probably doesn't matter, except for identification purposes.

(Er, hi, I'm Miche, and I live in New Zealand.)
*g* I have done, and thank you.

They're still not as good as they used to be, though.
Because the godzilla penisfruit entries were bouncy fun and led to durian, I will suggest a distraction for when you have the time again: the webcomic saga (to date) of the Wom Wom Coconut and its archnemesis/ex-lover Space Durian.
Except for the part where I magically screwed that link up and you really want http://www.funkyhorror.com/WomWom1.htm . Sorry.
Clever concept -- sounds yummy, for those comfortable with the textures...
When I saw 'Godzilla penis" I thought it was my friend Elijah (he and his girlfriend call it 'Gojira')--then I remembered your posts about that crazy thing...Was it the one that exploded? XD
Yes!